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Day 7 and hurting, playing mind games with myself


10 years ago 0 618 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Cdn....
 
When I quit, that conflict you described showed itself as me having two little people, one on each of my shoulders, and BOTH talking at the same time, giving me advice, commands etc.  It nearly drove me mad!  I saw them as "The Nicodemon"....my addiction, and "My Guardian Angel".....who was guarding me.  They had some fights, I can tell you, but, in the middle my sanity came back, and my determination and positivity won.  The fights stopped and I was able to concentrate on my quit.
 
BTW, we are not strangers...we are friends, joined in a common cause, to overcome an addiction.
 
Whatever it takes, just don't smoke!!! 
 
Love Lolly.    
 
10 years ago 0 11 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm going to blame the bad typing of my last message on the added symptoms I am going through ;)
10 years ago 0 11 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks all for the kinds words and support. In the past I had some many reason why I didn't need to quit but the biggest one was denial that I was truly addicted. Now that I know I am not going to let it overtake me. The urges is less intense today but of course are ever present. The forums here have helped and your support below. Thanks again. From one stranger to another it is very much appreciated!
10 years ago 0 89 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Greeneyes.
I've been wanting to leave you a reply on here most of the day but have been on and off the forum like a yo-yo so I apologise for the late reply and please bear with me....
First of all welcome to the forum and congratulations on reaching 7 days smoke free, although I think it must be 8 days now.
2 weeks ago I was going through the same thing,
"How would I cope without my ciggies"
"What if I fail again"
"It's part of you"
"You like it"
"You can have just one, no one will ever know "
"Blah blah blah"
But none of this was true....
There is one reason we keep smoking once enjoying it has worn off... and that's fear. 
All those fears are BS - we don't need to inhale cigarette smoke to make be happy, to help us cope, concentrate or any of that!!
You  *will*  manage, you  *will*  be fine, and you must try not to worry about it.
Wanna know what worked for me? 
I stuck with my gut instinct of wanting to stop, it was the right decision for me and it will be for you too. It's just your mind playing tricks with you. This is what addiction is all about.
Determination is the key, If you want something badly enough, you'll do it.... You just need to want to quit more than you want to smoke.
 
Stay strong, you CAN do this.  
 
 
 
10 years ago 0 2778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey CdnGreenEyes!!!
 
      Welcome to the SSC and huge congrats for making it through Hell Week!!!  If you haven't already rewarded yourself big-time, DO SO!!!  You've gotten through the worse week on your road to freedom!!!    You are really doing great so far, so just keep on taking it one day, one hour or even one minute at a time if you have to!  I see you have gone through much of the Program and have learned a lot about quitting and addiction.  A lot of this quitting process is learning how to stay quit and cope with those exhausting withdrawals.  
 
      You are correct that you are really in a battle with yourself, your nico-demon right now.  It's can be one helluva fight and if you lose a battle and slip or go into full blown relapse, you ARE going to feel everything you mentioned!  So, do your very best to just say N.O.P.E.!!!  That Positive Mental Attitude thing is what can really help you now!  Hopefully you have written you list of reasons to quit and your list of coping mechanisms.  Keep them close... they could literally save your quit!  Know that if you don't stay quit, you'll have to start all over again and you know how bad that sucks!!!    I think that the best thing that you could have done was to log in and write about it!  It has a way of helping you think about it and usually that will help you to realize that it just isn't worth it to smoke again! 
 
      There are a lot of threads on here on coping mechanisms and ways to deal with cravings, etc.  I'm sure you have found a few, but if you need any more help finding information, try using the search button on the Forums home page or just ask!  There's still a quite a few of us that have been around a while that should be able to bump a specific thread forward to make it easier for you to find!  So, stick close, continue to read and learn and log in often and read and post!  That's how we get 'er done around here!!!    We're all here in your corner, buddy!!!
 
                    Jim
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10 years ago 0 1140 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi cdngreeneyes,
 
Welcome to the forums and congratulations on one week of being smoke-free!  
 
Sorry that you are having a rough time of it right now. Yes, that first week and even the first few weeks can be quite nerve-wracking. Sometimes, it feels like that little voice demanding a cigarette will never shut up. But it will, my friend. It just needs to know that you are serious about saying "no" to another smoke. 
 
So, there are a few thoughts I want to share with you. 
 
First, it is OK to express frustration, angst, fear, or any other "negative" emotion you might be having right now. Yes, we all strive to maintain a positive attitude, and that is certainly part of the winning formula. However, quitting nicotine can take a lot out of a person emotionally, especially at the beginning. So, while you need to keep re-directing yourself to positive thoughts and images, realize that it is OK to honestly acknowledge your feelings, too. ...Hopefully, that makes sense. 
 
Second, if you have been off all nicotine for 7 days, your physical cravings are over. (Those end by the end of the 3rd day.) What you are feeling is the psychological longing and powerfully close memory of nicotine addiction. Yes, a psychological craving can very closely mirror a physical one, but the physical part really is over for you right now. 
 
Third, this is the reason you don't want to have "just one" cigarette right now. Since you are already physically detoxed, you have gone through the hardest part. If you partake in nicotine at this point, you will re-ignite real physical cravings again, and that will go on until the nicotine leaves your system again. Just one cigarette would probably be out of your system in less than 3 days, but why would you want to go though those physical craves again for even 3 hours..or even 3 minutes?  Believe me, this is one of the big deterrents to me trying one again; I do not want to re-live physical detox. 
 
I know the battle right now is exhausting, but please keep it up. Each time you say "no" to a craving, it gets a little bit weaker and you get a little bit stronger. It will get a little bit easier tomorrow and the next day. ...And if you are utterly exhausted from fighting, just go to sleep. It can help a lot.
 
Keep reading and posting as much as you need right now. There are people here who like to help. Hang in there.  
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10 years ago 0 11 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have read many of the messages here and so many are positive and uplifting. I am normally a positive person but I have to tell you that I am on day 7 of cold turkey and it has been a tough day. I smoked about 8-10 a day for about 15 years sometimes a bit less sometimes a bit more. I know that may not be too much comparatively to others but I guess that's what I was addicted to. I was in denial that I was actually addicted until I tried to stop. I hate to write a negative post but perhaps if I just talk about what I am feeling right now that may just help me and relate to others. I hope people don't mind me using your eyes and ears. I keep playing mind games with myself that I can have one and be fine. Then I go onto sites like this and other "quit smoking" sites and they say don't do it. While many sites say you can forgive yourself if you have one and move on the best approach/advice is not to have one so I am in a battle with... myself. I totally understand that one becomes two, then two becomes and so on... The only reason I haven't is because when I think about how I will feel about myself afterwards I know I'll be angry but more importantly ashamed and disgusted. That being said, my body and mind are at war with each other (if that makes sense). Hard to describe it but I am guessing some of you can relate. Mentally I know I don't need smoke but physically I am having huge cravings. The first few days were quite easy for me when I stopped last week. I had planned in my mind for a few months. Day 6 & 7 have been really tough for some reason today being day 7. I'm counting the hours at this point and fighting off each craving one by one and they seem to feel more intense. I feel stupid and weak but I am determined not let this win. It's me against myself and there can't be a stalemate. Thanks for listening to my babble.

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