It's been a while since I checked in. When I first started this post I truly was hurting, playing mind games. Saying to myself one cigarette won't hurt etc. One would have become two then you all know the story after that.
I pushed through and took a zero tolerance/cold turkey approach but I had to change many of my others patterns as well. Coming here was also a huge help. Getting ideas, knowing I wasn't alone. Knowing that feeling weak was also a part of the process and that I shouldn't feel ashamed as I was feeling that too.
I go days or weeks without thinking of cigarettes, the only time I do is when I see someone having one or see someone in a movie etc. It reminds that I used to enjoy them but they are now a thing of the past and my cravings have almost no presence in my life anymore. That being said, there are still moments but they are small and pass quickly.
Before I really set my mind to it this time I didn't realize I would have to undergo a behaviour modification. I had to change my coffee routine, for the first two month I basically cut out coffee and drank mostly tea instead when I craved a coffee. In essence I may have gone through two withdrawls but I felt one was linked to another. For my friends who still smoked I only had to tell them once that I quit. They were the most supportive, perhaps because they knew the best what I was going through. They made it easier for me, now I told them they could smoke around me and that it doesn't bother me anymore (outside only of course). I never smoked inside a house or building believe it or not. They have never once offered me one since the day I said I quit. That also made a huge a difference as well. When you are doubting yourself and someone reinforces the negative doubt it makes it more difficult.
I was never a big drinker just a social beer or wine, but I cut that out too in the beginning. I have now reintroduced that into my social life. As for sex, well I never did smoke after sex for no change there ;)
I am not going to say this was a pleasurable experience because it wasn't. It's not easy either as you all know but it's worth it. I feel better, I breathe better, I have less allergies, I have more energy, my clothes and hands smell better, okay, so I put on a few more pounds but I'll take care of that with the gym and eating right that will be easy compared to this.
I know it and I am pretty sure it will never be over but I am very happy to report that when I started I was counting the minutes and hours to get past the next barrage of cravings. That went to hours and the blocks of hours which turned into days and now I am in the weeks and months stage.
One thing I wanted to mention was that I was at a Dr. appointment the other day and I told him I quit months ago. He spent a great deal of time talking with and making sure I was okay and that I had given them up forever. He also said I should have told him from the beginning and he would have helped me along the way, with support, blood tests, vitamins and if needed medication to soften the withdrawl. Perhaps it's just my silly pride that I wanted to battle this by myself but looking back now maybe I should have also asked him for help.
Anyhow I wanted to say thank you for to those who send me kind words of encouragement and to offer some support for those who are about to go down the same path.