When I smoked I smoked for a reason. Of course
that reason or reasons where not always front and center in my
consciousness. In fact they where living way down deep in the nether
world of my being. However, no matter how deeply they resided in me,
their influence supported my addiction as a foundation maintains the form of a
house.
Now when you come to that point in your quit when the urges are coming at you
like a freight train, when you've got your quit groove down and the melody,
harmony, cadence and form are all dancing as if they have been partners all
their lives, just when you think you have the thing beat and your doing the
Rocky Balboa waltz in the middle of the ring, here come those craves again.
It should not surprise us, but it does. Never forget that smoking is
a learned behavior. And humans do not learn things for the fun of
it; we are a very utilitarian lot after all. We learn things for a
REASON. This addiction is no different. Old patterns of existence
die hard and they do not go away simply because we wish them to
depart. We must learn how to adapt a non-smoking behavior pattern to
supplant the former learned smoking behavior.
It might be useful to think of a craving situation as a coin. On the
top side of that coin is the dreaded feeling that "I must have a
cigarette". If we have come any distance at all in the quit, we
now know the situations and forces that lead us down the paths that endanger
our quits. So it should be an easy matter to conjure up a vision of a coin to
represent the situation. In the past every time we encountered this
particular coin, we solved the crave by smoking a cigarette. There
that was easy. I was upset by a situation, and all I had to do to
get unupset, was to inhale a bunch of poison into my lungs, all the while
risking lung cancer, possible heart failure and a host of other
complications. Hmm doesn’t sound like much a solution. It sounds
more like an addiction to me. And that is just what it is. It has no
logic, but it does have a reason that is motivating the hurtful and plainly
illogical behavior.
So back to the coin. If instead of going for the smoking option,
mentally flip that coin over and see the other side. I will bet you
dollars to donuts, that underneath that coin you will find one of the base
emotions pushing you on to commit slow suicide. It is not the situation that is
causing you to smoke, it is not the person in your face that is causing you to
smoke, it is not anything external to your wonderful self that is urging you on
to smoke. It is the emotive mixture of our very selves that is
urging us on. And this brings us back to one of the most basic
tenants of this site. That is try not to become to tired, to
hungry,to lonely,or to angry.
When these latent craves come calling try your best to flip the coin over and
identify what reaction you are having to a certain situation. Try
your best to identify the emotion that you are feeling in that particular
moment in time and find a way to deal with it. For instance you may
not be happy in your job, but you have to do it now for financial
reasons. Ok, I can understand that, but that does not mean that you
have to smoke to get through. Instead you can begin looking at
creative ways to release yourself from the job by exploring other
opportunities. You can come to terms with the fact that for the time being you
must continue as you are. Sometimes we just have to accept what is and make the
most of it. Do not except a permanent solution (death by cigarettes) to solve a
transitory problem.
A crave is very much like a coin. On the face of it is the urge of
all urges that will not let us be. But never forget that a coin has
two sides and it is the flip side of the coin that tells the
tale. In the end no one, no thing, no being has the power to make us
smoke. We allow ourselves to smoke, in many cases because we do not
know how to or do not wish to flip the coin over and deal with the other side.
Well that is both sides of it now. I know its not easy and I also
know about episodic depressive states. I know about the darkness and
the fear of returning to the darkness. But never forget that you have a light
in you that you have the power to turn on. A cigarette cannot do
that for you; it can only make the darkness appear to be tolerable. And that is
just intolerable.
stay well
nonic
nonic