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Is it possible...

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Glad to hear the choice was made for you! That was easy

I like the sounds of the new one

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

Thanks for all the thoughts, guys. As it turned out, we did a date and it wasn't as cool as I had expected. We failed to jive on various levels, so I do not have to answer that question with this particular person. However, it was probably a good question to discuss, since I will most likely be dating some more.

Fortunately, this weekend's tentative 'date' plan includes someone who quit several years ago.

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$26,677.00

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Days: 730 Hours: 7

Minutes: 10 Seconds: 4

Life Gained
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5180

Smoke Free Days
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103,600

Cigarettes Not Smoked

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Working On It...

This is a difficult one...I think that what ever you decide to do with this situation, you will maintain your quit. I think this is true simply because you have asked the question. If you did not have the desire to achieve cessation, it most likely would not have occurred to you to do so...Good for you...

Now down to the nitty gritty of it...I can only speak to you from my own experience and my experience is not yours, and yours is not mine, but I believe there must be some commonality.

Until I was a full year quit, I would not allow myself to go to a bar, have a social drink or engage in activity that would soften my will to make cessation a reality. I knew from my research that alcohol has a chemical and social affinity to nicotine. So any type of socialization that included even the smell of alcohol was banned from my agenda. All my life I had always been a very social animal. I had many friends who I dearly loved. However, most of them would not or could not understand my desire to drain the poisons from my body. So I decided that I would make a change and without explanation, simply vanished from my circle of friends until I knew beyond knowing that I was strong enough to live along side my past.

I only tell you this, so that you will know that I took a very severe route to cessation. Stoicism can be a very good tool, but it does not substitute for the very human desire for companionship. It sounds as if you see something of interest in this person and if that is the case, you owe it to yourself to follow your instincts. But if you feel in anyway that being in proximity to cigarettes will weaken your will to succeed, then it is best to run in the other direction as fast as you are able.

I think that avoidance of triggers is the best action. In time you will find that those triggers have no power, but that time comes only when you know beyond knowing that you have truly taken their power away. Perhaps you will find that this individual also wishes to "put the squares down"...It may even become a future source of shared purpose with your new friend...But for now you must protect your quit at all cost...Perhaps you might explain this...You may find that this person will see you as quite a serious person and may be encouraged to seek the same freedom that you do...

stay well

nonic

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$74,980.50

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Days: 1560 Hours: 18

Minutes: 35 Seconds: 31

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7141

Smoke Free Days
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214,230

Cigarettes Not Smoked

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Working On It,

This is a tough one! You already received some great advice. Not sure if I can add too much more but as a Health Educator I am compelled to warn you to avoid any type of trigger situation until you are more confident in your quit. BUT only you can decide if you are ready to be around this kind of temptation. If you decide to go ahead with it put some ground rules in place and talk about it often.

Has he thought about quitting? You may want to send him our way

Be sure to let us know what you decide to do!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

I can sure empathize with your situation Workin' On It! I agree with Willis that your Quit is for You so it doesn't matter whether anyone else around you smokes or not. If you build your relationship with your new friend coming into it as a non smoker, then that becomes your 'norm' when you're with that person and you can just keep Workin' On It from there : )

When I chose to quit smoking, my long time hubby wasn't on board with my decision at all. One and a half years later, he still smokes and has no intention of quitting. It bugged me until we worked out some new 'house/smoking rules'. And he's become very respectful of my quit now - he doesn't smoke in our shared space, and he brushes his teeth before expecting a kiss.

So we didn't even have to get divorced over my decision to quit smoking. Whew! And as you personally know, that inner rebel will not be phased by evangelical naggie negative reinforecemnet anyway - at least it sure the heck doesn't work on my hubby! (tried it; not good results; backed off!)

So you can protect your own quit by remembering NOPE and spend time with anyone you want. If you are respectful of each other and can discuss what you need to make your friendship/possible relationship work, the sky's the limit!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

Thanks willis,

That was an incredibly helpful statement.

I was going to add to my post that I will most likely do whatever the h--- I want, regardless of what anyone says. But you obviously already remembered my rebellious streak.

Quit Meter

$26,677.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 730 Hours: 7

Minutes: 10 Seconds: 4

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5180

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

103,600

Cigarettes Not Smoked

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 792

Is it possible? Of course it is ! Working, Everything is open to you ! You quit for YOU. Thats the only way you can quit. Don't limit yourself Working Everything is yours. Smokers, non smokers ! Just don't ever take another puff that is your only limitation.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

Is it possible for me to date a smoker now? I met someone who seems kind of nice and relatively compatible with my whole scenario. I'd like to give him a chance with a date or two. But he does smoke. I already told him that the idea makes me nervous, due to possible relapse. Currently, I have a roommate who smokes and he has friends over who smoke (all outside), and it doesn't bother me. I dated several nonsmokers when I was a smoker, and they all seemed to cope with it somehow. At the same time, I'm just not sure how I will cope with being physically close (and yes, that is one of the goals of dating, right?) to someone who has smoke on them. Will it make me sick? Will it trigger a relapse? Will it turn me into some evangelical/ naggie type on the smoking issue?

Has anyone else dealt with this? Gone out with someone who smoked after you had quit?

Quit Meter

$26,677.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 730 Hours: 7

Minutes: 10 Seconds: 4

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5180

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

103,600

Cigarettes Not Smoked

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