Hello. I'm 48, have been smoking for most of my life. (Either inhaling all that second hand smoke that I so loved as a child or lighting it up myself.) I did manage to stop smoking for three days five years ago when I did a program and joined a forum. I'm going to be trying again, and part of doing my homework and being sincere in my efforts is to introduce myself and ask for some opinions and advice.
Stopping smoking now won't change all the past losses, won't negate the effect of having stewed in smoke for so many years, but a prepared and determined quit will free up my time (no more distracted worry about how many smokes I have left, or if I can get out of watching a movie because I can't go more than an hour without a smoke in the evening...etc!) and allow me to put the money to better use. Like getting that mammogram I always haven't wanted. (Sorry - bit of bird humor there.)
I'm not afraid of gaining some weight - frankly, I come from a long line of Mack truck people and if I gain a few pounds that's not going to be the end. I know I can exercise and lose it. I don't have a lot of energy or breath these days so I'm thin and in bad shape. Somehow being a bit chunky and being able to breathe and retain a normal coloring after going up a flight of steps seems a worthier goal at this point.
I looked around at some forums and I really liked this one. I dearly love the kindness and compassion I've seen members showing one another, and the positive encouragement. There seems to be a lot of earnest hearts here, and that I find is a wonderful thing.
And boy am I scared. I can't fail this time. I really have to quit. I've been coughing so badly that I wake up and get close to vomiting. That's an embarrassing thing to admit. Horribly embarrassing. A dear friend of mine had a heart attack on Halloween. I flew up to stay with her when she got out of the hospital. She was still smoking, smoking indoors and smoking cloves, all of which nearly did me in. I developed the cough while I was there and even though she quit smoking about four days after I got there, (Yay!) I still couldn't stop coughing. I have no medical insurance and live in the U.S. so if I get sick I might as well be dead. That's sort of the way it is here.
Sorry if this is kind of loud but I guess that's what a Magpie is. I appreciate those people who don't mind taking the time to read this and to tell me what positive things you did to keep yourself from going back to smoking.
