Hello everyone! I'm Megan and I quit smoking at 12:01 am this morning. I've been smoking for two years and seven months. I have gone more than 24 hours without smoking 3 times that I clearly remember and possibly a fourth. Over this past summer I used the gum and went 9 days without smoking, but ultimately just never wasn't addicted to nicotine. On Sept 12, 2010 I quit again. Cold turkey. Smoked on the 12th day. My most recent attempt was December 1, 2010. I smoked on the 23rd day. my sister broke up with her bf and she wanted one. So i had one. I
couldn’t even finish it. It tasted like shit. Then maybe two days later I
had two when drunk. Those were good because I was very drunk and didn't realize the crap I was doing to my Three
days after that I had three hits of one when pissed off at myself. Being home over christmas break (I am a student at MSU) I got in a fight with my parents. Hello three hits. A
few days after that, I had three that day. Took a few days off...and
continued this go three days without smoke two- go two days without- smoke
one pattern, convincing myself it wan' as bad as smoking 14 a day like i used to. . Before I knew it I was smoking everyday once back at school. But
at first it was just whenever, not after meals, not first thing in the morning. it
wasn’t a habit yet. Until a week ago, when I was smoking everyday again. Every day, after meals, after
morning coffee, when drunk, when pissed off.Even though in this week of smoking every day I had maybe 7 or 8 at most, I was addicted again. I'm glad I realized that I was slipping down towards the 14 a day path again. I decided on Thursday or so, after just four day of smoking daily that I wanted to quit. I was originally going to quit tommorrow but yesterday I just got so fed up with my smoking that I could not wait another minute to quit.
I think a part of me knew it too, I knew that
if i smoked one i would become addicted again. I denied it all. I thought I was
invincible. I have reached this point of just no tolerance for myself
and my smoking. I am so sick of being a slave to cigs. I want to
work out, not smell, not cough, and not have nasty teeth,
besides 1000 other benefits. This is it. i AM fed up. I smoked last one
at midnight.
I know this is a very long post but, I am an English major! haha and I think it is important, personally for me to outline my past attempts and my downfall. I could list of all the reasons for quitting but suffice to say I had under 10 pros to smoking and over 50 cons. Smoking is irrational and I want to quit. I am only 19 an d I don't want to have to endanger a future possible husband or kids.
The main struggle for me is stress. Being in undergrad, I am surrounded by daily stress. The stress of deciding on a career, or meeting new people, etc. I need to learn new ways of dealing with the stress. When I quit in Sept I joined a different online community group but it was really difficult to find the post that I had made online which just irritated me and we all know the last thing someone needs when quitting is to get annoyed. Looking at posts of people who have gone thousands of days without smoking and seeing that youa re still here for us struggling is helping me in itself. Thanks for letting us all talk about what we are experiencing. After "quitting" so many times it seems that the only people who understand and support are those experiencing the same thing as me.
So -that's me, I look forward to meeting and supporting other people in this community.
