I woke up today feeling a lot better than yesterday. I actually dared to drink a few cups of lite coffee even! This made me feel "normal" like my "old self" and it was a great feeling.
Then a friend called. I now realize I am very vulnerable to other peoples suggestions and what type of info I allow into my brain.
She has fibromyalgia, and we both have a lot of the same "symptoms". She knows I've been struggling lately with anxiety and with an sinking obsessiong that I have MS or some other devastating neuro disorder.
Today, I told her about a panic attack I had over the weekend where my right arm went numb/uncoordinated while I was working on something at home and that it turned into a full-blown panic attack where I got hysterical and told my husband that I just *know* I have MS and that I cannot accept it. I felt terrified - as if I had just been officially given a grave diagnosis. All over my right arm symptoms.
Well, after it was over and done with, and I got my ability to reason back (about 1/2 hour later) I said to my hubby "Was that a panic attack I just had??" and felt ridiculous for the things I said to him about knowing darn well I have MS.
My friend surprised me and basically said that she didn't think it was a panic attack, and that it was perfectly reasonable for me to think I have MS because these random muscle issues I'm having right now could be an early sign of MS.
That was SO not what I wanted to hear!!! My own doctor told me a couple months ago that if I had MS, things would be getting worse with me, not better. But still, my friends words stuck in my head and set me back quite a bit.
I have been struggling all morning over this.
HP
