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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1904

Yes, kiwi. I might have to. I'm hoping she will instead, because I don't have wheels and this gym is close. Things looked better for a few days there. I was feeling better, although I felt bad for her. She threw some bar bells down and had a mini-tantrum yesterday when another woman just came up to me in class and jokingly said something innocent, which she couldn't hear across the room. The instructor stopped everything until she settled down. (I think everyone in the gym knows that something happened, and many are trying to support her, but I don't think that many really understand the issues.) I want to suggest to her that she finds a psychiatrist who is an ordained minister like I had when I was coming out years ago.
My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 435
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 12,180
Amount Saved: $5,176.50
Life Gained:
Days: 48 Hrs: 23 Mins: 28 Seconds: 32

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 672

Definately transfer to another gym.

This person sounds mentally unstable, insecure, abusive & by the sounds of it ready to self destruct. Pass her name to the nearest councillor & get away while you still can !

You don't need this, she needs professional help.

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2005
Smoke-Free Days: 2014
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 70,490
Amount Saved: $18,327.40
Life Gained:
Days: 291 Hrs: 21 Mins: 35 Seconds: 33

Quit Meter

$13,249.20

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 662 Hours: 21

Minutes: 54 Seconds: 3

Life Gained
Quit Meter

3620

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

54,300

Cigarettes Not Smoked

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Brenda,

I am so sorry you are having to go through all this. I too would find it very disturbing and sicking to hear all her stories about sex with men or women for that matter. This would be very uncomfortable. Maybe someone could suggest that this is not appropriate discussion for the locker room and that she may need to talk to a therapist about her sexual addiction or sexual identity issues? It their someone in change a the Y that you could talk to about the problems you are have with her and how she is making you and other members at the Y feel very uncomfortable? Could you talk to the the other members and see if they would be willing to go with you to talk to someone in charge?

On another note is it possible for you to go to another Y for a while to get away from her. I remember you said you would be starting a swimming class soon. Is she going to be in that class also, if not maybe you could get in your exercise there instead. They usually have lap swims off and on all day at the Y. This might be an alternative form of exercise and a way to get away from her and still enjoy your exercise. What do you think of this idea???

What ever you decide to do Please do not give up your quit because of this person Remember you have a right to enjoy the gym just like everyone else, do not let this sick person take that away from you. You have come way to far to give up or give in now. Fight for your rights to be a non-smoker and enjoy your life just like everyone else. This is your right and you owe it to yourself. Hang tough Brenda! You can do this!

Your friend,

Rose

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/30/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 38
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,520
Amount Saved: $494.00
Life Gained:
Days: 5 Hrs: 7 Mins: 28 Seconds: 54

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 280

Don't ever give up Brenda. Is there a way you can change the time you go to the gym?... maybe when she's not there.. :o)

I can just imagine how very stressful that can be, but reverting back to smoking will definately not make them any better right.. it will not fix it :o).. Hang in there... you've got the strenght to get through this.

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 6/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 401
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 8,421
Amount Saved: $2,357.88
Life Gained:
Days: 36 Hrs: 5 Mins: 26 Seconds: 2

Quit Meter

$33,251.40

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 741 Hours: 15

Minutes: 43 Seconds: 32

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5655

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

118,755

Cigarettes Not Smoked

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 984

Brenda, this has got to be a seriously stressful time for you but you know that picking up the old bad habits isn't going to resolve the situation. Those will only help you run away from the issue which is your relationship or desire for a relationship with this woman. If you've already expressed your feelings and she's not reciprocated it may be time to cut your losses and move on. Drink and drugs, overeating, smoking, none of this will change the actual problem. They will mask it and you will lose sight of things all over again. If you still have a membership at this club and it's part of a chain, perhaps you can transfer your membership to another location and get back to the focus you had when you started your exercise programme? Don't throw your recovery away over someone else. Ask yourself if they would do such a thing for you. If the answer is no, then raise your head, pull your shoulders back and keep on marching.

Hang in there, Brenda.

x T

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 1282
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 29,486
Amount Saved: �8,108.65
Life Gained:
Days: 114 Hrs: 9 Mins: 45 Seconds: 31

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Brenda,

It sounds like this is a very stressful situation. Know that smoking or eating won`t make it any better. Don`t let this break you. You have come so far. Use new coping mechanisms you have learned and keep posting. Take control here; you have worked so hard and come so far. We are here to listen whenever you need us.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1904

I'm jonesing for everything right now: cigarettes, food, even things that are not normally my vices, alcohol and drugs. I've gotten involved in a fatal attraction. She was my workout partner at the gym. She gets extremely jealous to the point of picking up my workout equipment (like steps) and moving them towards her when I'm exercising next to another woman. She grunts and yells to get my attention and to throw me off step when she's angry. She sometimes even pretends to be physically hurt. I ignore her. The other day I had to duck, because she swung at me. Then two days later she feigned amnesia as I tried to get away from her when she was following me. She wanted to know why I was acting differently? What's really scary is that she claims to be straight as in heterosexual, because she's was brought up in the church and is very religious. So she tells me she wants to be with men. I accepted that at first. I really try to identify my dates as gay. I know I have no chance with straight women. However, then she started pursuing me and like a fool I let myself get caught, because the flirting felt so good. Some of the women called her out about her sexuality last week and she has been insane since. She has gotten very graphic about sex with men in the locker room with the other women and with me sitting there. I think some of the other woman may have been embarrassed too. But they should never have called out her begin with. Many have known her for 5-10 years and should have guessed that she really wasn't straight, but was struggling with her sexuality. (That's how I made the mistake of asking her out.) The homophobia, and my love for her, are just making her homicidal/suicidal. I'm feeling a little trapped. I'm paid up at the gym through December and need the exercise. Now I'm reverting back to old habits. I'm sitting at my desk reaching for my cigarettes (I don't have any) and am eating whatever my heart desires. I think I know that if I smoke, I then can't exercise. I'm just feeling really stressed, and I'm not sleeping. I spend the night wondering how to get out of it and where this is going to lead.

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 429
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 12,012
Amount Saved: $5,105.10
Life Gained:
Days: 48 Hrs: 7 Mins: 34 Seconds: 20

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Right Place???