Hi Rose
Timing as they say is everything and I'm currently grateful for two bouts of timing: one that you found this before you quit and it's helped you in some way. I'm so glad for that because this has been one of the looming issues in my own quit. The second is that your comment came when it did, as I've had another instance with someone I never realised was toxic until I considered them in this context. The phrase 'choose your battles' has become ever so important to me and you'll find to you as well if you continue thinking in this vein. Sometimes it's just not worth expending the energy to disagree with someone who will never see your side of the coin. We are all born different and for some of us this means totally different in thought, in speech, in spirituality, in all belief. To try and gel with some people is often impossible and as smokers when we failed we took the blame on ourselves.
This recent TP of mine used to try and turn things around with a personal attack then come out with 'don't take it so personally'. This is a persistent ploy for people who know they can get a rise out of us to go and get that rise. Nic lets us cave because all we want to do is end the altercation, run and smoke the anger away. It festers. It never leaves us until we choose to lessen the burn. Until we choose to take back the power, choose our battles more wisely and walk away from that toxicity. Thanks for your excellent timing because you helped me remind myself of my own lesson.
Nonic, I remain in great hope that you continue kicking your jailer's ash. It's always a fantastic pleasure to see you. If ever you do come up with the invisibility potion, please do get in touch.
Your comment 'all I am is what I think and feel' strikes a chord and is why I think that you and I are in tune. Keep on pushing those toxic folks away. It seems such a simple thing but is so very difficult - maybe it's because we are kind hearted, or are we ex smokers soft? Are we weak? Why do we lie down, wave the white flag and dress ourselves in the yellow brick road? Let the wizard walk all over us and win the game?
It does get old. We spent years letting ourselves get beaten, and I cannot tell you how glad I am to have realised it's not to late to fight back.
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail, yes I would, if I only could I surely would.
Much love to both
x T
My Mileage:My Quit Date: 1/1/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 1259
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 28,957
Amount Saved: �7,963.18
Life Gained:Days: 112
Hrs: 8
Mins: 34
Seconds: 52
