Hi, Breather. Posts like yours scare me a bit. In the beginning, quitting is damn tough. Today was my hardest day yet. I found myself having a long dialogue with myself about whether or not I was really able to quit right now. (I was trying to convince myself that quitting cold turkey was unwise and that I should "just have a cigarette and start over with a NRT.") I honestly don't know how close I came, but this thinking, I recognized where it was coming from. It was the junkie in me trying to give myself an excuse to smoke. Fortunately, it didn't happen. I think it really came down to the fact that I feel I've been given a second chance - one that you rarely see - where I could just put down the cigarettes and make an honest attempt at being a non-smoker. If I had picked them back up today, that would have been the end of it. So even though it has only been a few days for me, I really do understand everything you said - relapses don't just happen, they are planned. And I also believe that if I give up now then I may never try again. It is a scary thought, but it's also something you can draw strength from; at least, I know I do. I admit the idea that months, even years after quitting, those temptations can lie dormant inside of us and wield their ugly heads at the worst of times is very scary, but knowing is power, and from the way you describe it, it is not like the beginning. Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me. I really just wanted to acknowledge I had read this and - well, found it full of wisdom. You've officially inspired me, lol.
P.S. Can someone please tell me what H.A.L.T. means? (I see the acronym, but what does it mean exactly?)
My Milage:My Quit Date: 8/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 75
Amount Saved: $11.13
Life Gained:Days: 0
Hrs: 11
Mins: 44
Seconds: 37