Hey Sparky it's ok....I understand your upset but don't beat yourself up too bad...Think about this...There's a group of people sitting on chairs in a circle...In the middle there's a mediator....The progress at this meeting is astounding...Everyone sitting in the chairs has quit so they go around...John says "Hi I'm John and I quit drinking 6 months ago and I feel great, my life is awesome, my wife is happy, my kids are happy, life is good." Then Ashley sitting beside John says "I quit drinking 4 months ago and it's been hard but I succeeded. I'm working again and moving on with my life. I couldn't be happier." This continues as each person sitting in speaks up about how long the've quit and how happy they are. In fact everyone sitting around the circle has quit. Then the mediator noticing that one chair is empty speaks up and says where's Sue? As he's saying that Sue walks through the door and starts walking toward her chair...The mediator speaks up and says "Where were you Sue." Sue hesitates and finally confesses "I slipped, I had a drink and I am ashamed." The mediator stands up and points at the door "Get the he11 out of here Sue, this place is for people that are succeeding in their quit not for the ones that need help."
What's wrong with this picture? First of all the last words of the mediator would not have been said and second we are all the same. Sure after awhile some move on and some struggle and some fail time and time again. Some of us come here solely for the purpose of reading and gaining knowledge to pull us through. Some of us are struggling and come here for comfort and the knowledge that others are facing the same ordeals and looking for a collective team to fight this so called nicodemon. Some of us are not struggling so much but post because we have struggled for so long that when they discover the light at the end of the tunnel they want to share it with others. Some of us are a collection of all of these things, but we share one commonality. We've all been where you are.
Sparky in a way you and I are exactly the same. The only real differance is that I wasn't here to be held accountable like you are. I had quit multiple times, in fact most had given up on me when I actually did quit for good. I didn't have much of a problem quitting, I had a hard time staying quit which is as hard or harder in my opinion than someone that just can't quit at all....See the people I knew couldn't quit because of the huge impact of the withdrawl but they were so set on not smoking that when they did finally save up the nerve to plunge in a few long weeks they would be free and move on....In our case even after we made the plunge and were free and happy and moving on with life we still wanted it, really wanted it...So it was not a thought in the back of our mind it was a constant stuggle....Personally the day I knew I would never smoke again was the same day I stopped looking at a cigarette as a diebetic would look at chocolate. It's all an illusion....I really believe that people in our shoes the Allen Carr book is the way to go....It's not about fighting through it's about wanting to fight through. Your strong Sparky....Maybe stronger than all of us....You've done this many times and passed hell week, heck week, blah week, etc.....You can do this....You just need to work on the desire..
Like I always say if you want to find an excuse to smoke you will. Your better than this....
If I can end this with one thing that may help you it would be this.....Stop focusing on battling the withdrawl symtoms...For you this is not your primary issue....Focus on the desire to smoke....That's the issue you face...Once you don't want it anymore and don't see it as the answer to all of your problems how hard is it to quit? Think about that.
Take care and please don't leave. This place may be a safe haven for all the quitters to encourage each other in there quits but I'm assuming it started as a safe haven for those who struggle the most....You need us and we need you so stick around and focus on your desire.....
Mr Q
My Milage:My Quit Date: 8/4/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 87
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,088
Amount Saved: $652.50
Life Gained:Days: 9
Hrs: 8
Mins: 58
Seconds: 37
