EARTH, (AP) - Top scientists (well there were a couple of middle to lower scientists in there as well) announce major smoking cessation breakthrough!
After many months of back breaking work and independent studies, by teams on 43 different continents, speaking over 322.7 different languages, and at a cost to taxpayers of over 695.5 billion per hour, top scientists (see note above) have released the following flow chart, which they say might help (it might not as well) explain the process of removing a nicotine addiction from a person.
One of the tippiest toppiest scientists who asked not to be identified but who has the initials of DL when questioned about quitting had this to say, "Ice water, drink lots of ice water, and when you're done with that, drink some more ice water." When asked why, he responded "because you can't smoke if your mouth is frozen and you're constantly running to the bathroom now can you?" There were no arguments there.
Another scientist, not so much a top scientist, more of a middle of the road, "ya sure I'll get it done next week if you remember to ask me again" kind of scientist with the initials CD was quoted as saying "it's been tough, I need to wear this helmet now because of all the banging of my head off the wall I've been through in the last few weeks. If only I'd known about SSC sooner."
When asked what they would be working on now that they have released these findings, the top scientists, and a few of the lower, and one of the middle scientists, said they were looking forward to putting those hellish first weeks behind themselves and were heading for a cruise ship that would be taking them to an undisclosed tropical beach. All at the expense of taxpayers, of course.
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- Sorry - needed to have a little fun this morning. Hope you all have a great weekend. I am celebrating 40 smoke free days today my friends and a lot of it is thanks to you. I applaud you all!!!
My Milage:My Quit Date: 7/6/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 40
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,200
Amount Saved: $276.00
Life Gained:Days: 6
Hrs: 16
Mins: 25
Seconds: 32
