I know it is the name of a book, by Jules Verne, I believe, but I cannot remember if I have read it or not. The name just came to me today as I was looking at my stats. To be honest I feel as if I have been around the world and back. Tired and weary with life in general. To make matters worse today I woke up with runny nose, sore throat and various other aches and pains.
I remember this phase from a previous quit when I lasted 10 months, but I cannot remember this feeling lasting so long or it being so bad. The kind of feeling of being stoned, and completely disconnected is making life particularly difficult at the moment. I simply cannot gather up the energy or drive or whatever necessary to get over this hump. I have been simply going through the motions of everyday life and I cannot be bothered by anything or anybody.
To give you an idea, recently I came into some extra cash, which under normal circumstances is an occasion, for making plans for what I am going to buy, a nice meal in a good restaurant, a week-end away, something new for the house or garden maybe a reward for my keeping my quit. You won�t believe it, I haven�t spent a penny. I don�t believe it. I went to the shops, surfed the internet and couldn�t find anything. I have enough frequent-traveller miles to really go around the world, and I simply cannot get up the energy to do it. I can�t even be bothered to answer telephone calls from friends and family.
Sure I have had and still have some other problems to deal with, who hasn�t, but there is nothing that is so overwhelming that cannot be dealt with. As they say if there is a solution it is not a problem. Mind you, if I continue to perform as I am doing at present there probably will be some problems that I might not be able to deal with so easily. Skipping work, and skiving off when I am there is not a recipe for continued success. But I simply cannot be bothered.
I've lost the enthusiasm for my quit, I've lost my get up and go for some very important projects I have on hand, I've just simply lost it. Am I blaming too much on a simple quit? Is it the nicodemon saying that everything would be much better if only you had a cigarette?
Many of you will recommend a swift kick in the butt which I agree with, and others more kindly remedies, but if I know already that I will not listen or take on board what you will so kindly take the time to advise me. To what use? But I am still asking for your HELP!
Deck
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/6/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 80
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,800
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �624.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6
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Quit Meter
$410,589.00
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 8188
Hours: 10
Minutes: 4
Seconds: 22
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45621
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
547,452
Cigarettes Not Smoked
