I slipped, dove and slid down a muddy slope. But I'm giving myself props for coming back again and again, no matter how humiliating it is.
I just need to put some stuff down in black and white so in a few days yall can bump this thread when i'm about to pull my hair out.
I ask myself do I really want to quit? I think yes I do. But I need to worse than I want to. So what to do about that? I think after the first few days the want will even up with the need.
Why do I want to quit? Because it stinks. Because I'm 33 and get out of breath cleaning the house for God's sake!! hello!!! Because I want to get back to exercising and get back the bod I had so I can go to the beach and wear a swimsuit. So I can run the bases with my boys during baseball season. So I won't sit in my stupid glider rocker and rock my life away. So I can use the money I save on some of my dreams. So, my children won't smoke. Because I think it's holding me back. It's a stupid little security blanket that I wouldn't need if I wasn't smoking. (does that make sense, well it does to me) If I quit smoking, and learned to fix things instead of covering them up with my cigarette smoke, then I might go back to school and get out of this job I've had for 13 years and do something I enjoy instead of doing it for the money!
How am I going to get thru the rough spots? I need constant reminding of why I'm quitting. So, silly, but I was thinking I might write them on my water bottle, so when I drink, I can see them. At work, well, I'm going to have to make a track between my office and the shop. And I'm going to walk everytime I'm about to snap. Until the moment has passed. So, I may have to have a talk with the boss on how my break's may be more often and longer....
;)
I have to conquer boredom. Instead of sitting around, I've got to get up and get moving. When my mind races and stresses me out, I've got to get it going in another direction. Deep breathing, bath, reading a good book.
I have got to stay away from people that smoke. I will clean my car out today, making sure there are no lighters anywhere. And instead replace my console cubby with candies.
I cannot worry whether my husband is smoking or not. He tends to think he can have a smoke from time to time and it won't hurt his quit. That is junkie thinking and if he can't see that, well I can't worry about it. I just have to keep on pressin on!
If I'm in my car and a crave hits, I will just take a detour and make it further away from a store.....
Anyway, that's a start...
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/4/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 0
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19
