yeah it's amazing Heather, they talk to me too ;p [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/3/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 257 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,570 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $449.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 25 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 43

WOW, Sue, you can smell rocks? My sense of smell has never been that sharp! ;p [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/14/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 246 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,920 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,706.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 25 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42

Good to see you, you are just doing so well, you know how to get this quit done and i think your starting to realize that now :):) have a wonderful day Hugs Tresa [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/8/2002 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1986 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 39,720 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $6,951.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 283 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 34 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49

Squeezing in a quick reply when I have chance. Sue, sounds like you had a great walk. I love the way you write. So descriptive. Walking is one of the best forms of exercise (barring swimming). 30 mins brisk walk a day will keep the doc away or something. Or was that 30 apples? :) Blue Cloud, Glad to see you doing so well! You are great. Today, I am not going to think about whether continuing this quit is good or bad for me. I am just going to push it as far as I can and make the most of every minute and hour and try and enjoy life, or at least not take things too seriously. Well thats the plan anyway. Going to see how long I can carry it off for. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 187 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,675 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �785.40 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 23 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 56 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19

hey Kev, perhaps it would help you to review your positives of your quit. I reaffirm mine every day. For example me and John just took a brisk walk around our neighborhood, something neither one of us could do a year ago, in fact we used to walk when we first moved in and slow down so we could smoke. Now we are pumping our legs and arms as we walk and right now I am feeling that burn. whew. While I was out I could smell the brisk winter air, pine needles and John's shower gel. Just the fact that I could smell rocks. Right now I am not panting or wheezing, I can breathe. All these things are new for me, very positive and makes me feel good. I know you have some too - Grace is among them, smelling that sweet baby smell must be wonderful for you. I am so proud to be walking in this quit with you Kev, you have shown such courage and perseverance. Just to be clear, I love reading your posts, good and bad, positive and not so positive - support is why we are Kev, and just you posting helps countless people, you never know. So please don't keep yourself from us. I never heard about your 6 month reward mate, do tell ;) xo Sue [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/3/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 255 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,550 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $446.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 24 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

Hey Kev, I so enjoy reading your post. Sure you are busy and sure you think about your old life as a smoker but you are a changed person. I hear it in your words and I know you don't want to smoke again. You are a unique person and even if you choose to stand out side with your friends I know you are not going to smoke. I have faith in your ability to stay quit. You are a smart guy. Besides you are one of us firecrackers. we may blow up but we don't burn!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/4/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 193 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,860 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $772.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 26 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 56

JDK, I'm glad you got some sleep and that your threads continue to help you along your journey. We certainly enjoy them! Keep close and keep us posted :) Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator

Hi Danielle, Yes the CBT's are a great idea. People do find it hard talking about emotions I notice, so any replies are good. There is also always something to be grateful for and it is worth reminding myself that every day. I am grateful that nobody has admitted to losing patience with me and told me to smoke. I am grateful for my family being so supportive in giving me lifts so I don't go into cigarette shops. I am grateful for any time the sun shines. Giving me vitamin D. I am grateful for friendship here. Whole load of things to be grateful for if I really think about it. One of the good things about me is that I will try and try everything until I am sure that it is not working. This is of course, why I have stuck at this non smoking thing. I'm not entirely convinced that I will never reach stability again. And now that I have quit, should I go back to smoking, I may not enjoy it as much. I do a lot of visualisation, seeing me freezing outside trying to smoke a cigarette and getting very cold hands as the biting wind blasts my face and takes away my breathing. Whilst the driving rain means that there is only a small space in the outside smoking shelter that ensure you and your cigarette do not get wet. Funny thing is .... it's like that now.....and I STILL go outside and watch my friends smoke. Getting very wet and very cold. So why not smoke as well? I get partial secret satisfaction out of standing there and showing control over my inner junkie. An addicts version of Takeshi's Castle. :) Todays plans are to relisten to the 'Build your self-esteem' CD then make a money diary to see where I fritter away all my cash then back to counting the ridges in the artex. By writing last night I did actually manage to sleep. Seems a regular JDK Thread is essential to me sleeping! Maybe due to the fact that if I write last thing then I am not staying awake mentally writing a response as I very often do. See ya later HUGS from Kev [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 185 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,625 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �777.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 23 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 43

Hi JDK, Kudos to you on taking some steps towards self-improvement. Do keep an eye out in February for our CBT days as we will be focusing a lot of thought challenging and emotions. Until then, taking a few minutes to find things you are grateful for can often help put a positive spin on a bad day. Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator

Hi guys, Sorry about not writing recently. You know its not like me to suddenly vanish. There are a couple of reasons why I haven't put finger to keyboard for a while. I guess in equal parts it could be that I have a major project on which is requiring all my attention and energies. Also my junkie may have convinced me that you would have been bored of my stories by now. Next up is my desire to give space to all the newbies. You know when I am not here, I miss you all like crazy. Strange huh? Not to me because you are a big part of my life. Plus, should I ever make it to smokefree AND stable then I fully plan to pay back everything I can here. There is no getting rid of me :) So what has been happening behind the scenes in kevworld since my last real post? Well my sleep patterns seem to be disrupted at the moment. Maybe due to all the pressure that I am feeling. I don't think this will be the quit killer but it certainly has kicked off another round of junkie thinking. I have also been buying loads of self improvement CD's and books to try and improve my self-esteem and self-confidence. Something that was noted in all my feedbacks and I am also well aware of. I need a lot of practice at this as I am very good at pulling myself down. I don't actually believe most of the affirmations I am given to shout out but any positive, whether it is false positive or not, can only be a good thing I would guess. Normally I am not one to fall for psycho-analysyt mumbo jumbo but I guess I am desperate to not feel so low about myself. When I finally a) stress out so I can stress out no more or b) reach burnout, then I could be in for a long sleep. I know how important sleep is to positivity which is why I attempt no to take my writing too seriously. Maybe another reason why I have avoided writing. I also still cannot help myself from asking my brain questions like 'Was quitting really a bad idea?' and setting off good versus evil battles in my head. You know that is one huge bit of old ground I dig over regularly. I want to find out if I can make it through month 7 (following a certain wise and lovely lady's diary here - yes I am a sucker for goals if they are small and reachable) and in order to do that, I can't smoke. So thats what I am trying my best to do right now. If I manage to get some good sleep and my project finishes then you bet I will be back fighting the addiction publicly again. I hope that I shall be doing it in a positive way too. In the meantime, I wish you all a great couple of weeks. HUGS from Kev p.s. the junkie never accounts for you nice people checking up on me. There's no way I could slip quietly into a smoking life here! Thats a good thing btw. p.p.s. Sue, can you believe every one is sick of chocolate here? I still have my chocolate coins from the christmas tree. Mainly that is because I could not get into the gold foil covering the chocolates...foiled again :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 184 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,600 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �772.80 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 23 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29