I remember all the times of trying to walk away and the addiction wrapping chains around me and pulling me back. I remember wishing to be free. I remember all the things I didn't do because I would rather smoke. I remember sitting on my deck and staying there in my safe haven, in my comfort zone.
I remember fighting the craves, the tears, the yelling, the getting mad, the wanting to be free more than anything in the world. The wanting the cravings to go away if only for one day. I don't fight that anymore. My battles are different now.
I want an escape but smoking isn't it. I've been through too much smoke free. I've fought too hard to get here. I don't want to start the new year as a smoker or as an ex-quitter.
You are right, I do want to see my meter crank on over to 1000 days. WOW! I didn't realize I was so close. I remember when 10 days seemed imposible. 10 hours seemed impossible and now I'm about to hit 1,000 days of freedom. I guess there isn't any going back. Perhaps true freedom comes when you can say.. there isn't any going back.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 911
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 18,220
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,188.50
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 82 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 36