Wow! I am so, so lucky to have such wonderful friends here. Thank yo all again for being here and lifting me up yet again, you're all fabulous and I love you!
I re-set my meter again to take that one day away. The meter is really inspirational to me and it helpd to see my smoke-free days, money saved, etc. I did have 226 smoke free days and I did save whatever money I didn't spend on smokes & it's more helpful to still see that than to take it away. So that's what I did.
The problem here was I let myself get overwhelmed and vulnerable. I just had too much going on, more than I was equipped to deal with. And, in true Unhooked fashion, instead of saying, "whoa back, slow down, I can't keep up," I said, "bring it, bring more of it, I can take whatever you got."
I learned here how to admit that sometimes I need help, when to recognize those times, and how to ask for it. I forgot all those lessons somehow, or didn't apply them to this particular situation.
I often think that people don't want to be bothered by anything sad or negative at Christmas. So I thought I would get through it and then post later that it had been difficult for me. Didn't quite make it.
Anyway, I know now that I am still vulnerable, I can still be sucked in, and staying away from the people who can help me most is a really, really stupid thing to do.
Still here, smoke-free again, & one cigarette wiser!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/14/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 227
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,540
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,497.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 22 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 21 [B]Seconds:[/B] 50