I'm a member of that club, too, Misty and Sue. But, I am trusting it will get better. No matter what, i know smoking is what got me in this pickle, so it doesn't make sense to make it worse by starting again. Let's all agree to work on our health in other ways, okay? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/22/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 277 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,080 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,883.60 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 38 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 58 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32

Misty, I know you know this already. But I have yet to meet one person who blew a perfectly good quit with a cigarette and said - wow that totally helped, I feel so much better now. Keep your stats rolling Misty, you deserve this quit. Me and my DH are suffering with all kinds of health crap too since we quit, dental and health, it sucks, but I know, in my heart, that smoking was masking all this stuff and we stand a much better chance of fighting it smoke free. You do too. So let's do it together, what do you say? xoxo Sue [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/3/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 235 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,350 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $411.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 22 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 52

Ladycigvictor - Thanks for that. I hope that it didn't seem like I was pointing the finger at you for making me feel bad. But, thanks for your reply. It made me feel much more victorious - instead of just along for the ride. I actually came to the stop smoking center right now - on Christmas eve... because I was on the verge of going up to the circle K to buy a pack of cigarettes. I know it's the holidays making me feel worse right now - as well as a bunch of other issues...mostly financial. I just suddenly found myself tired of fighting. Since I quit - all of these medical problems have come on me and I feel so very week and tired of it all. My doctors all insist "It's NOT because you quit smoking" but, what the heck else am I supposed to think? Yesterday I was looking at pictures of myself a couple years ago and I was just so much more vibrant and alive. Bleh.. sorry again about the pitty party, and thanks for your replies. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 525 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 39,375 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $9,843.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 45 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8

I encourage each of you to print out Pat's (Ladycigevictor) response to Misty's post. Pat's answer is a lesson in joy, in victory over addiction, and in living life today, not yesterday. Not only Pat, but her mother is an incredible role model for all of us. Let's be grateful for these examples of courage and common sense, for these lessons in living each day to its fullest, and in these reminders that today is all we have. Rusty :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/13/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1105 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 30,940 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,867.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 155 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26

Very interesting discussion members. Unfortunately, all our genetic makeup is different and our body will react to the presence of carcinogens in different ways. Some will proliferate cancer cells, others won't. Take comfort in knowing you're giving yourself the best chance. Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator

you guys are so very brave, I salute your strength. xoxo Sue [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/3/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 233 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,330 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $407.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 22 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 7

Oh, Misty must have been on of those days. I think, and that can get me into real trouble :eg:, with it being the "season" there is bound to be reflections on what if, or could have or should haves. Where does it get us? No where except into the pity pot. Stinky............ Stinky thinking, stinky actions, just all around stinky. I had 2 sister and one brother die from cancer. My sisters died from lung cancer and my brother kidney and heart conditions. Yes they smoked. One died 13 years after quitting smoking. One did not stop until she found out she had lung cancer and my brother was given so many opportunities and never took advantage of them. So he died. With all that said, I don't know whether I will die from cancer, I do know I will die. I choose to smoke and did so for over 50 years. What will the results of the abuse I have done, time will tell. I am ready to take full responsibility for all of my actions. As Lady pointed out her mother is 83 and that is a long life. My mother live to be 97, but my father died at 46. I want to thank you for this post. I have been walking around most of the day feeling really sorry for myself. Missing the Christmas of the past and not staying in the present. I want to tell you this. I would have smoked today if I had some around. But the real and only reason I did not smoke today is because I made a promise to one of those sisters that I would not smoke today. I know she is smiling and it is so worth the stuff life hands us when we can keep our word. This is what God gave me tonight. A view from my back porch. [IMG]http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p173/osd1944/pictures001.jpg[/IMG] Keep the Quit Sparky [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/30/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 236 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,360 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $354.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 31 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 2 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59

Oh Misty...I'm so sorry my post has caused you any stress. I apologize for having brought those feelings up in you or anyone else. When I posted about my Mother and her condition, it was helping me feel better to know that even though she knows she's dying, she is not one bit tempted to ever smoke again. I also thought it was important for all the new quitters to know 2 things... 1. Smoking can indeed kill you. I don't know if smoking caused my Mother's cancers, but you can be completely sure that smoking did not help her and does not prevent cancer. Anyone who is smoking should and can stop. 2. Despite this horrible prognosis, neither my Mother, my daughter nor myself have anything but pride that we have no desire to ever smoke again. Imagine, 3 generations of women who have made a difference in our own health because we found the courage to face, acknowledge and beat our addictions. You should be very proud to have done the same. Misty, no one knows how far medicine can take our understanding of our bodies. Human anatomy is a very complex thing and we have barely scratched the surface of understanding it. We humans have come a very long way since leaches were used to cure disease. Just 4 years ago a young man in my family had 2 fingers amutated in an accident and surgeons reatached them. One of those fingers had to be re-amuputated. If his doctor had used an "archaic leach" to help relieve the damaged veins in his hand, that finger might have been saved. Hindsight is always 20/20. You should know that my Mother is 83 years old and has lived a full life. She has no real regrets and her musings about the cause of her cancer stemming from smoking is just that...a musing. No one truly knows the cause of every cancer, but common sense tells me that quitting smoking or never starting is one of the best things we can do to prevent cancer and a host of other problems. Guilt is indeed a crappy emotion. Do not give in to it. We all do things we sometimes regret, but Mom refuses to dwell on what she didn't do and focus's her energies on what she can do. My Mother is not spending her last days regretting having picked up a cigarette. She is rejoicing having put them down and is now spending her remaining energy on her family and closest friends. She is basking in the glow of the love she has grown through out her life. She would want you to do the same. Misty, you are 523 days into an amazing quit. My Mother would be the first to congratulate you on a job well done and I applaud you as well. Mom is fond of saying "I must accept the things I can not change, I must change the things and can and pray for the wisdom to know the difference". Life is not always fair. Therories abound. Addiction can be broken. Instead of thinking "what if", Mom would want you to think of "what is". All the best, :) Pat [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/28/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 328 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 13,120 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $4,592.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 38 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 28 [B]Seconds:[/B] 12

This post may seem a little dreary, and I may end up rambling - I apologize in advance if it becomes hard to follow. I don't know why I'm here. By "here" I mean in this melancholy & "pity party" emotional state. I think that part of it was reading that ladycigvictor's mother had quit smoking 16 years ago and was now coming to grips with the fact that she is going to die of cancer. There's so many "why's" for me on the topic of smoking, health and cancer. So many things about the human body - about my body that I just don't understand, and the more I learn, the less I understand because it just gets more complicated as I go. My doctor doesn't really "get it" either. Not to my standards anyhow. "This is happening." "But, why?" "Nobody really knows." Do you ever wonder if they really know anything useful about the human body? Ever think that someday folks will be looking back on our medical practices and cringing, like we do when we read tales of leaches being used to cure disease a hundred or so years ago? It seems even more archaic when you look at "Women's medicine". My ex bosses and I were very close at one time. They were ex-smokers and tried to encourage me to quit many times. Then one day he was diagnosed with lung cancer, and I was at his side 6 months or so later, holding his hand, when he took his very last breath. In that couple's life together, she was the heavy smoker. It was she that smoked 3-4 packs per day and and it was she that had the hard time quitting and struggled with it so. Him? Eh - 5 or 6 cigarettes per day and then one day he just quit. Yet, it was he, not she, that died of lung cancer. She's perfectly healthy, vibrant, and beautiful - going on with her life. It doesn't make any sense - especially from a "medical" perspective. It just doesn't make any sense at all. Oh, we've all tried to make sense of things like this - we say that it was second hand smoke or something, but nicotine was definitely to blame in some way shape or form. Of course, nobody really knows why those 'never smokers' that never lived with a smoker get lung cancer and die. Must be a fluke of nature. I think those cases are going to be coming more and more prevalent as our society makes it easier for never smokers to never be around smokers. I honestly hope so. I hope so for the quitters. I hope so for all of us that ever smoked around our families, our children, or our co-workers. I really hope so. The thing is - guilt is a crappy emotion. Guilt breeds and grows and takes over your entire life and pretty soon you find yourself doing the exact same behavior you felt guilty about before. Why does ladycigvictor's mother have to spend her last days with regret for having ever picked up a cigarette? Why does my ex boss have to wonder if it was her 3-4 packs a day that killed her husband? Why does anyone who gets diagnosed with cancer have to face the exact same question.... "Oooo.. Were you a smoker?" and then watch that knowing look wash over the question asker's face when they answer "yes.. yes I used to smoke." ? Does cancer suddenly become self-inflicted because I once smoked? I don't think that's fair to anybody. Not only do I not think it's fair, I think it's holding us back as a society and keeping us from finding other real causes of cancer that may have nothing at all to do with cigarettes. The fact that we place all the blame on the cigarettes could very well be leaving many folks - quitters, smokers, and never smokers alike, in real danger of some carcinogen out there. Do you ever wonder if smokers or ex-smokers who die of cancer have some other risk factor in common? I read this spiritual book one time about energy and it's flow through our bodies, and it talked about people who have a lot of fear, anger, and sadness - holding that in their chest, and consequently trying to sooth it and move that energy on by smoking. (I'm not going to talk about my own spiritual beliefs here - just talking about that book for the sake of discussion.) My boss was a very fearful man. Always afraid of loosing something, or loosing control of some element in his life. He held onto his money as tight as could be, and pushed his own family back for fear they would take something from him. I find myself with some of those exact same traits. What if - there were more to starting smoking in the first place than peer pressure or other typical society given reasons? What if - along with quitting smoking, we need to find out why we started in the first place and address those issues? I don't know why I started smoking in the first place. I remember the event like it was yesterday, but I don't know why it occurred - can only speculate. None of my friends smoked, and my immediate family didn't smoke. In fact, I talked my best friend into starting with me. - *I* was the peer pressure! I CRAVED them worse than any crave I ever had after I quit. I used to dig through my home searching for something - anything to smoke. That began when I was 12. I started smoking when I was 16 - when I mustered the courage to go to the store and buy a pack. I tell people that I must have been addicted from the second hand smoke in the restaurants and the stores back then, but I don't know that for sure - it seems unlikely. It all just makes me wonder, and it seems rather unfair. Sorry again about the downer post! Do any of you have any theories about any of these things or other things that you've wondered about that you'd like to share? Go ahead - even if it seems silly. Might make for an interesting discussion? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 523 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 39,225 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $9,806.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 45 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 28