Thanks everybody, I appreciate all your kind words, I really do, but I feel like my quit is not going to last this time. I think there are more underlying issues that I have ignored over the years that I need to address. The honest truth is I need counseling and more than likely those brain numbing meds I hate so much. My depression is sprialing out of control, it always does this time of year. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 19, I have been on and off of meds throughout my life, but for the past 14 years I have gone without them, choosing to deal with it on my own. Sometimes I feel like life would be so much better if I just had someone I could love and trust, a partner in crime, but then that brings a whole other package of challenges. The first one would be bringing myself to the point of being able to trust again, the second, being able to love again. I sat in my apartment on Thanksgiving Day alone, no meal, no family, nothing. I tried not to think about it, I tried to convince myself that this is how it is when you get older, but the truth is, it's not supposed to be that way. I still remember the first Christmas Eve I spent alone, I was 20 years old, the feeling hasn't changed, it's a bitter, empty feeling that just eats at you from the inside out. I didn't want to take you all to this place, sorry. I just hate this time of year.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]11/24/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 3
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 144
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $28.80
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48
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Quit Meter
$39,032.18
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 1026
Hours: 13
Minutes: 26
Seconds: 25
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
5719
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
171,570
Cigarettes Not Smoked