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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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JDK Thread #23


16 years ago 0 1113 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Lizzie, Thanks, you are a ray of sunshine in my life. Actually everyone here is in their own way (I read as much as I post). I know there will be better days, hours or minutes ahead and I try to keep that in mind. As long as the positive self talk is true, I could handle that. Is it something you can only do when you are already in a positive frame of mind? I'll give it a go if I know what I am doing. After doing some research, it seems that I am about as classic case of low self esteem as you can get. Key points are apologising for everything you say or do, and sometimes in advance of what you may say or do. That is a classic symptom. So is, joking around subjects of personal worth. Which I think I may do. It is a distraction technique to take the focus away from my failings. Unfortunately, the author forgot that not everybody is heavily religious, so am having to pick and choose which is relevant to the subject or not. It could mean that I only need to read half the book :) I have a few more books waiting in the wings too. Given that I am a rubbish reader (I have never finished a book (*) and mostly never get half way) it might be yet another waste of money. Only time will tell. Anyway, progress is progress, no matter how small. So that makes me a little more happier. Thanks for kicking the junkie out of me again (both you and pen). I will stay close and keep at it, piece by piece. HUGS from Kev (*) = Unless the book is full of pictures :) **** Gen, ah that explains a lot. Girl you had a lot of will power to go to the afternoon until the first smoke! It does amaze me. If I hadn't smoked within 15 minutes of waking then I was probably ill. That might have been a contributing factor that led me to getting an 'extreme addict' score on the SSC test :) Got any tapestries in the works? I love the lady one and the seagull one. SSC is full of amazing talents! HUGS from Kev [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 146 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,650 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �613.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34
16 years ago 0 2534 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kev, How you doing today? I'm guessing you're peeking!! I hope you are well and in the spirit of sharing, I thought I'd let you know that I am just back from the dentist where it's all systems go for tomorrow's extraction! I was a little perplexed earlier when it suddenly dawned on me that the downside of any extraction for me is the injection to the roof of the mouth where the skin is very tight. This can sting a little but I was immediately cheered by the generally held belief that one hardly notices a small prick! ;p I'm sure I'll be fine and come teatime tomorrow it will all be over! Chin up Old Boy! Penitent d1296 :)
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16 years ago 0 579 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
PS You know it is really important to keep a positive attitude, to talk to yourself (!) - tell yourself how well you are doing, plan rewards, regularly kick the junkie thoughts into place.....but it is also OK to say if you are feeling blue or down. That is an emotional thing apart from logic and I would not want you to think that you cannot express that. If you are having a bad day, do try and be philosophical because you will have a good day soon, and strings of good days. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/23/2003 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1686 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 25,290 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �6,322.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 168 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34
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16 years ago 0 579 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kev, So pleased to see you posting. You are doing great, you know. Really. What you lack in confidence, you make up for in heart and fantastic humour. The people who stay at this site are the ones who make it. Learning about junkie thoughts. Learning how to cope in a crisis. Learning how to cope with emotions - you will become a much more capable and confident person because you are forced to confront things rather than running away. Seeing others just ahead of you getting happier and more confident. This has been a tough journey for you, but I promise that there are fantastic rewards to come....confidence, self-respect, being happy with yourself.....and ummm....feeling sorry for smokers who are still trapped in a pointless addiction cycle. Lizzie :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/23/2003 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1686 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 25,290 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �6,322.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 168 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1
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16 years ago 0 1056 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kev I don't like Noel Edmunds at all but the show marks the end of the afternoon for me in a way - and it used to go with the first cigarette of the day usually - unless I had 'cheated' and had a couple at lunchtime. Now I have a cup of tea and some biscuits and wind down that way. Hope you are well and planning a wild Christmas. Gen [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/28/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 251 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,016 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �1,255.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 33 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 16
16 years ago 0 1113 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Here's me writing and I missed those wonderful messages. First of all Bear, that is soo sweet. I will let Grace know. I am blessed to be living with her at the moment. Maybe should I have children myself then it won't be so scary now. I got a lot of time for you you know Bear and still remember the excellent advice you gave me. Bear HUGS to bear :) Aloha, nice to see you. I do miss you popping in. I knew you care and I also knew you are trying to break from an SSC addiction too. So it is special when you come and say hi. Hows life in the beautiful island? Got much body boarding in? Just wanted to thank everybody for their patience with me and to wish everybody a great day. See ya soon. Kev [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 145 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,625 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �609.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39
16 years ago 0 1113 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Penitent, I didn't realise the good cop/bad cop thing :) But the fact you tried speaks volumes anyway. Ok, rule broken. I am staying. Sticking around here very close has been the difference between me having smoked for 140+ days or not. It is only me that can put the cigarette in my mouth and light it but I am always persuaded by good argument backed by logic and it has stopped me on doing that on countless occasions. Those values you listed are the same values I go by too (the parts about being nice for sure). The things I was taught when very young are : Be nice to others. Smile. Treat people how you would like to be treated. What comes around normally goes around kid. Instead of dropping rubbish, always put it in mummys pocket until we can reach a bin. :) On the make the absolute most of life thing, I am trying to learn what I should be doing, I have hidden behind a cloud of smoke avoiding as much of it as I possibly can. So now I am raw and in the real world dealing with such wonders as heightened emotions (not tempered by cigarettes) and other stuff that most people don't have to even think about. One of my first JFDI tasks is to build a positive self worth/self image and then maybe confidence to do things that others don't take more than a millisecond to think about. I am currently researching on how (if I can) do that. On the whole 'end my life' thing. It just isn't going to happen. I don't like pain, can't hack the sight of blood ( or even fake blood, thats why I never watch Casulty or Holby City) and can't swallow tablets. If I was going to do it then I would have by now. Going back to smoking IS an option. But it is an option I consider as a last resort. I will hopefully try everything else first. I'd be really annoyed with myself though as I do actually like not being controlled by a drug. I have admitted in the past to longing to go back to the dulled emotion smoking state, but this is fear of the unknown. Learning from others how they cope with life via these forums is a way forward. I picked JFDI and am learning how to implement it. Currently it is in miniscule stages. I'm looking at it that miniscule is still movement. Apart from the book reading and research, I have been writing a list of all the positive things (like holding Grace, talking here, reading some great posts and getting inspired etc). So what your old wise man said and what you do is where I want to eventually be. I know we are all individual and brains work in different ways but I am planning to learn and learn and assimilate some of the best stuff here. In my view, anyone who can quit smoking and not only cope with life but enjoy it, is a good person to know. I hope that I don't hit that event that causes my smokefree undoing in the meantime. Ok, so I guess I broke another self-rule. I was not going to discuss anything that might depress anyone and here I am giving my views again. I can sound like a pathetic prat sometimes. I'll apolgise to Bear later. Hopefully he might not even see this :) **** Debs, Jasper Carrot is a very funny birmingham (england) comedian. His heyday was the 70's and 80's. He's more of a stand up comedian than a scene comedian, however my favourite of his is a series called the detectives. Search it out and you may like it. I keep in mind UK centic humour does not have worldwide appeal :) So hows life on your side? I've been expecting a blitz of fancy graphics from you :) I see you nearly go that special 30 days done. Now is the time to think of rewards. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 145 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,625 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �609.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23
16 years ago 0 3207 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kev, I haven't known what to say to encourage you for a while now. Not that I haven't cared, for I have cared...a lot. So, [quote] Be courteous, be polite, be respectful of others but most of all, be respectful of yourself, be proud of who you are and live your life and enjoy every minute as best you can. [/quote] is the best advice I could ever think of for you..or any of us. Pen is wise..please take to heart what he is telling you I love you -aloha [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/22/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 257 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 10,280 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,747.60 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 35 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 2
16 years ago 0 1698 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kev I second everything that Penitent says and would add just this one thing your niece is absolutly beautiful and you have an opportunity to play a LARGE roll in her life so take advantage of it. :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/20/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 259 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,662 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,590.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 59 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54
16 years ago 0 2534 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kev, I am sorry that you are feeling so low. It looks like "Good cop, bad cop" didn't work so I'd best go back to basics! Life is a wonderful, wonderful thing and it is my belief that you only get one go at it (nobody but nobody has proved to me otherwise) and so you should maximise every precious moment of your brief stay here. Even with longevity, life is too short to waste on what might be, what might happen. Life is too short to worry about what other people might think. Long ago, a very old and very wise man said to me that he had lived his life determined to die just one death, not a thousand. That adage lives with me still. Be courteous, be polite, be respectful of others but most of all, be respectful of yourself, be proud of who you are and live your life and enjoy every minute as best you can. Kev, you are 32, the sand is falling through the glass � JFDI I wish you well Penitent d1295 :) PS Deb, Jasper Carrot is the name of a very funny English comedian - real name Bob Davies.
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