Hi Penitent,
I didn't realise the good cop/bad cop thing :) But the fact you tried speaks volumes anyway. Ok, rule broken. I am staying. Sticking around here very close has been the difference between me having smoked for 140+ days or not. It is only me that can put the cigarette in my mouth and light it but I am always persuaded by good argument backed by logic and it has stopped me on doing that on countless occasions.
Those values you listed are the same values I go by too (the parts about being nice for sure). The things I was taught when very young are :
Be nice to others.
Smile.
Treat people how you would like to be treated.
What comes around normally goes around kid.
Instead of dropping rubbish, always put it in mummys pocket until we can reach a bin. :)
On the make the absolute most of life thing, I am trying to learn what I should be doing, I have hidden behind a cloud of smoke avoiding as much of it as I possibly can. So now I am raw and in the real world dealing with such wonders as heightened emotions (not tempered by cigarettes) and other stuff that most people don't have to even think about. One of my first JFDI tasks is to build a positive self worth/self image and then maybe confidence to do things that others don't take more than a millisecond to think about. I am currently researching on how (if I can) do that.
On the whole 'end my life' thing. It just isn't going to happen. I don't like pain, can't hack the sight of blood ( or even fake blood, thats why I never watch Casulty or Holby City) and can't swallow tablets. If I was going to do it then I would have by now.
Going back to smoking IS an option. But it is an option I consider as a last resort. I will hopefully try everything else first. I'd be really annoyed with myself though as I do actually like not being controlled by a drug. I have admitted in the past to longing to go back to the dulled emotion smoking state, but this is fear of the unknown.
Learning from others how they cope with life via these forums is a way forward. I picked JFDI and am learning how to implement it. Currently it is in miniscule stages. I'm looking at it that miniscule is still movement. Apart from the book reading and research, I have been writing a list of all the positive things (like holding Grace, talking here, reading some great posts and getting inspired etc).
So what your old wise man said and what you do is where I want to eventually be. I know we are all individual and brains work in different ways but I am planning to learn and learn and assimilate some of the best stuff here. In my view, anyone who can quit smoking and not only cope with life but enjoy it, is a good person to know.
I hope that I don't hit that event that causes my smokefree undoing in the meantime.
Ok, so I guess I broke another self-rule. I was not going to discuss anything that might depress anyone and here I am giving my views again. I can sound like a pathetic prat sometimes. I'll apolgise to Bear later. Hopefully he might not even see this :)
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Debs, Jasper Carrot is a very funny birmingham (england) comedian. His heyday was the 70's and 80's. He's more of a stand up comedian than a scene comedian, however my favourite of his is a series called the detectives. Search it out and you may like it. I keep in mind UK centic humour does not have worldwide appeal :)
So hows life on your side? I've been expecting a blitz of fancy graphics from you :) I see you nearly go that special 30 days done. Now is the time to think of rewards.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 145
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,625
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �609.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23