Kev - Like Gen, I moved from my parent's home when I was very young... barely just 16. They didn't like it that I was pregnant and didn't want the neighbors to see me resulting in my parents embarrassment and shame. Yeah, it was a fun house. I can't tell you how to break away. I'm sure I was afraid. But, I was young and didn't know anything except that I had to do what I had to do for me and my son and probably wasn't smart enough to know I should be afraid. People survive out in the real world every day. I know you have things you struggle with and have to overcome and I am so looking forward to seeing you do that. We all have struggles too, you know. You are not alone. Also, in case you didn't realize, we all have insecurities as well. I don't have any doubts that you are well capable of taking care of yourself. You work, you shop, you used to go to pubs... I would love to see you give yourself more credit. I think living on your own could open up a whole wide range of new possibilities for you and open your eyes to what kind of strength and independence you can have. I believe it would also give you great confidence in yourself. Kevin - You haven't smoked for almost 150 days!!! You are not going to succumb to smoking unless you choose to. Stop telling yourself you are on the verge all the time. Stop telling yourself you have no strength. Stop giving credit for not smoking to anything other than your own will and strength! Also, there is nothing comforting about smoking. Seriously, would you feel comforted if you smoked today? or would you feel like a loser failure w/ no will power? Now, (before anyone gets mad) smoking would not make you a loser but it would make you feel that way, I believe. Get those smoking fantasies out of your head for good, k? ps The beach is awesome! I love seeing those triple digits on my meter. Yay!!! pps. I think you need to go back to a weekly thread. This one took a while to load. ppps.. I don't iron unless I have to and that's only maybe a few times a year. You can always pay someone to do it for you. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/25/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 102 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,060 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $596.70 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42

Kev, I am so sorry, but I just had to laugh at your story. Offering to teach a hormonal post natal sleep deprived sister to play chess is asking for one of the sharper pieces to be inserted into one's anatomy. But you meant so well, and your Dad was unnecessarily harsh - you should have both laughed about it. Actually, you handled it OK. It's difficult for our parents to stop being parental. My mother is always trying to change things ("when did you last dust the top of this cupboard", "why do you cook cauliflower like that" To which the answers are 1) about 2 years ago 2) and your point is?"). She also gets quite personal about things. If we lived together, one of us would have to die! Here's a question - when someone criticises you, does that say more about them, or more about you? It is possible to suggest things to people without hurting their feelings. So if someone is stabbing at you, then it reflects on their lack of skill. Or maybe they are having a bad day, and lashed out. Here is a real life example from my childhood.... Me: "Oh No, I've forgotten my bus pass!" Mother : "OMG. Why are you always doing this? Why the h*** can't you get things ready the night before? How are you ever going to cope in life? How long is this going to go on for? Well don't think I'm going to give you a lift, you can d*** well get the next bus." This is how my Dad would have reacted "Well, it looks like you'll be late then" When my mother starts up these days, I just say to her "Thanks, I'll deal with it." Lizzie :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/23/2003 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1687 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 25,305 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �6,326.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 168 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29

Hi Gen, Nioe to see you. Yes, friendship with you lot is brilliant. I rate it very high on my scale. To kick the drink and the smokes is a sign of your strength of character Gen. I have low sugar orange cordial and diet lemonade. I like it :) Yes to the ironing lessons. Yes to learning what the washing machine does. I hear the tumble dryer is less complicated. :) It will happen. It is on my list. Today I am thankful for all that have replied to me and given me ideas and missions that aren't too big. Tomorrow I intend to be bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to kick ash and 'get it on' at a micro level. That positivity is coming back! :) Lots of love to all. See ya tomorrow. Remember there will be a new thread. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 146 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,650 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �613.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35

At the sign of any criticism or disappointment I would turn to drink. I did that till it nearly killed me. Then I used cigarettes to the same end. I could go most of the day if things were going smoothly but then - no matter what - I gave the evening over to smoking. Completely stank the house out and nearly killed the dog. Now I depend on low sugar squash (no really it's nice after a while....) and cashew nuts. I guess I always need to have something. As to you moving out of the nest: I find it hard to relate since I did that at about 17 but my daughter is still at home at 25. These days it is more and more common but maybe for your own sake you should look in to the possibilities and see how it goes. start with ironing lessons!! :) Slowly being shown the ropes needs to start somewhere for your own sake. One thing you know for sure is that you have managed to conquer this addiction. Oh and another, you have made lots of new friends on here. Hope all is OK today. Gen (M) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/28/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 252 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,032 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �1,260.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 33 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39

Kelly, I missed your lovely post whilst typing. Thanks for dropping by. You bring up a very valid point. To answer honestly, I think it may be a catch 22 situation. I would love to leave the nest eventually but don't have the confidence to do so and at the same time when staying around I have the risk of having my self-esteem/confidence eroded further. I do actually think about it a lot. Weighing up the pros and cons. Would I be dead within a couple of weeks? Could I handle the loneliness or would I be in the pub garden smoking and drinking every night of the week? Whats an iron? :) You could say that I have been put in cotton wool in some respects which adds to the fear of being exposed to the real world. At the age of 32 learning everything at once instead of slowly being shown the ropes. How did you handle it Kelly (assuming you are not in the family home like me)? You are a sensible girl and quite close to my age group and a whole lot more grown up than me. So I can't really go wrong getting advice from you. Any advice is good. I will add it to a life plan. I think I had better take teeny tiny steps on how to deal with the minor stuff first. Thats my plan anyway. Ok, gonna shoot home in a bit and may log on tonight or read that book. I am really glad to have the sweet kelly back. Btw, hows life on the beach? You know whats weird? Although sometimes it doesn't seem it, it all tracks back to smoking as a comfort zone! HUGS from Kev [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 146 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,650 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �613.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 22

Btw, tomorrow is the start of a new quit week and also the start of a new JDK thread. I am making the most of today for explanations today and then tomorrow will start at building on my plans for world domination..erm building self-esteem and continuing to stay quit at the same time. I am beginning to feel that this could be a very good thing for me to do. At the same time I have made up for all that missing text that I wrote and deleted countless times in the past two weeks :) I'd be interested to see anyones attempts at positive self-talk and also whether anyone thinks they have lost it at a more minor thing and is still smoke free. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 146 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,650 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �613.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

Kev - The book was very thoughtful. Anyone saying otherwise is just plain wrong! You should not be apologizing for giving a kind and thoughtful gift! Have you considered moving out on your own, Kev? I bet it would give you great insight into what you really are capable of. From what I read here, you have no reason for low self-esteem. You are bright, kind and funny to name a few. You are also very strong and determined as you have not smoked for many a day, now. I wish you could see yourself as we do, Kev. :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/25/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 102 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,060 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $596.70 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 58

Btw, I liked your sneaky insertion (sic) of humour. :) I am feeling slightly better today and a little more focused now I have a mini-JFDI plan. This morning started better for starters and I didn't get any hassle about my lack of dating skills, or anything else that belittles any confidence I had before I even reached work (that is what kicked of the spiral yesterday if I am truthful). You know I often think 'If I can't handle x (small thing) without smoking, then what chance do I have with y (big thing). Should I just go and smoke now?'. Thats what runs through my brain when I am rattled by something small. One for the junkie thought section. How small things can things be that set me off on my spiral? Here's an example from the night before : During the weekend, I bought a book with my sister in mind about showing her the basics of how to play the game of chess. Monday night, I gave my sister the book as a little gift/present and I get exclaimed from my dad 'Don't you think she has enough on her plate as it is!!' (my sister has a newborn). I am seething within seconds that a gift should end up getting me into trouble (again) and I tense up. After a couple of minutes, I apologise to my dad for being an idiot and not thinking and apologise to my sister for giving her the book. Just wanted to give you a real life example of what stupid tiny things set me off and why possibly I am not a good candidate for dealing with life without the aid of emotional dampeners (cigarettes). I'm not sure if I should look at it as a success for not caving or whether I am prolonging the ultimate letdown or what. And then we're back to 'Should someone like me give up smoking in the first place (or continue to quit)?' Thats a biiig slice of my mind there btw. I am in sharing mode :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 146 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,650 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �613.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 27 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41

Guess who spelt ceylon wrong :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 146 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,650 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �613.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48

Hi Pen, just noticed you sneak in there! :) Yes I am peeking (or celon). I have had an extraction. I went white as a sheet and I will never think of snap, crackle and pop in the same way :) I remember him saying 'if you feel pain, just raise your arm'...my arm was raised from that point on. Especially when he is pushing up into the jaw to break the root or something. One way to look at it is 'ONE LESS TOOTH TO BRUSH' :) Best wishes Pen. I am sure you will be fine. At least you don't have to worry about the not smoking for 8 hours after part. Kevs way of how to look on the bright side of an extraction :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 146 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,650 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �613.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 31