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I should have fallen by now


16 years ago 0 3875 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
No, You should NOT have fallen by now, because you are a non smoker! You've gone far enough in your quit for your brain to know, smoking won't help make anything better! PB, I woke up a 7:00 this am, with an inch of water in my basement, because my water heater died in the middle of the night. I heard it and thought it was the softener. I am so angry with myself for not checking, because now I have to use a vacation day for this day off, and I spent five hours vacuuming up water before the insurance guys came, then I put towels in the dryer and the dryer vent fell off the wall, then I hung a shirt in the closet and the closet rod fell down. I am ready to scream, but like you what good will it do??? And my silly problems anre miniscule in scale. I didn't think of smoking, mostly because I too, have come far enough to know it won't help anything. So hang in PB, it cannot possiblty get any worse, and I have to tell you my inspiration for days like this: "When trouble arises, look it squarely in the eye and say, "You can not defeat me! I am bigger than you are! I can handle even the worst situations!" Here's to a better day, all around, for you! :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/5/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 177 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,425 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,867.35 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 27 [B]Seconds:[/B] 50
16 years ago 0 155 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
PB - Please don't smoke. I hear in this post how one child is trying to overdose (giving up). The other is not doing well at boot camp (giving up). Don't you give up. Be strong for your kids and show them that giving up is not the thing to do. You have come so far. You have shown you have the strength to stay quit, so stay quit. No matter what is going on, death, kids, lost job, problems at home, whatever, smoking DOES NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEMS. It masks them. It is a 15 second high that didn't fix a thing. All it would do is make you feel like crap after the high was gone. Really think about that aspect of it. How would I feel after I smoked the cigarette.... after I ruined this wonderful accomplishment I have made of 88 smoke free days. Besides - what are we even talking about, you are a non-smoker. Non-smokers don't smoke cigarettes! You are in my heart and prayers! ((((((((((((((Pokerbrat)))))))))))))))))) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]6/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 78 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,950 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $390.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 40 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6
16 years ago 0 3207 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
PB Sounds like a really really tough couple of days. They would have happened whether you smoked or not. And whatever is to follow will happen whether you smoke or not. The only thing that will change if you smoke is you will have smoked, and your cravings will then increase in frequency from a few times a day to every 20 minutes. Your boys need you, and they need you to set an example for them of doing what needs to be done. Right now, one of the things that needs to be done is you not smoking so you will continue to live. It's hard to watch our children face difficult challenges, but sometimes we have to so that they can grow. Hang in there PB. Glad you posted instead of caving. -aloha [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/22/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 160 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,400 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,088.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 22 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35
16 years ago 0 363 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Today must be my day in the barrel, I'm not sure how much more I can take. I received a letter from my oldest, he is in bootcamp, and from the sound of it not doing very well at all. I feel terrible, I am the one who guided him in that direction. I am so close to caving, I went to the store, picked up some food, took it out to the car, went back in for cigs, turned around and went back out, sat in my car for 10 minutes...finally I drove away almost in tears. I really appreciate everyones support, I know you all must get tired of my posts, and all my whining. If I do slip or fall, I want you all to know it wasn't due to lack of support, you all have been great. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 88 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,254 Amount Saved: $844.80 Life Gained: Days: 12 Hrs: 20 Mins: 18 Seconds: 11
  • Quit Meter

    $37,701.30

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 991 Hours: 12

    Minutes: 50 Seconds: 47

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    5524

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    165,720

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 1160 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Pokerbrat, I am really glad you posted. I have alot of things going on in my life also. The only thing in my control is the smoking so I am holding on to that despite what the demon says in my head. I think that is what you are doing also. At times we think we don't care anymore but we really do. Beating up on ourselves by giving back the smokefree days we have is the very worst thing we could do. I think that is why we tell ourselves we just don't care. I call it straddling the fence. Once I realize I'm doing it (sometimes I've been doing it for hours before I realize it.) I jump on the grateful wagon. Run to this site and get my focus back to the positive side of things. I'm just like you I haven't been on in a few days because I didn't feel to cheerful. I'm glad you posted so I had the opportunity to vent back to you. We are not going to give back the days we have fought so hard to keep. [color=blue]BLUE CLOUD[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/4/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 56 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,120 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $224.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41
16 years ago 0 34 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
[quote]in my head, I don't care, in my mind I could care less[/quote] But in your heart, you know the truth. You know that smoking helps nothing. You know if you bought that pack you'd be spending time outside the hospital while you were so despirately needed inside. You know all the "encouragement" you were giving yourself toward smoking was just junkie lies. Your confusion comes from the heart/head battle. Forget the head, that's where your addiction lives. Listen to your heart, it can speak only truth. It [u]is[/u] ending, pokerbrat. A little at a time. Your posts here show that. ElderOne [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/23/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 828 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 16,560 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,924.72 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 151 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
16 years ago 0 363 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks everyone, sorry it took me a while to respond. 5 minutes after I posted this I got a call, my son was taken to the mental health center, he apparently had a fit and wouldn't go into the high school, today was the first day of school, and he HATES school, always has. So I had to rush 35 miles from work to the mental health center to see how he was. Again, driving down there the first thought was the same, screw it, I've had enough, but I didn't do it. After I got him home, I went and washed my older car and got it cleaned up so I can sell it. Nothing like cleaning a car from front to back in 93 degree weather to take away the stress!! LOL When will it all end. My Mileage Smoke-Free Days: 88 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,248 Amount Saved: $844.80 Life Gained: Days: 12 Hrs: 19 Mins: 53 Seconds: 12
  • Quit Meter

    $37,701.30

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 991 Hours: 12

    Minutes: 50 Seconds: 47

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    5524

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    165,720

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Great support everyone! Don't push yourself away. See that you are doing this and your almost at 100 days! You are obviously needed right now and smoking would just take away valuable and quality time. Think positive and know that your body and mind are telling you that you made the right choice. Our thoughts are with you, stay strong :) Josie, Support Specialist
16 years ago 0 3541 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
PB, the strength is coming from you, you are getting through this difficult time and you aren't smoking because you don't smoke. Non-smokers get curve balls thrown at them, too. They get upset and depressed and overwhelmed and sad. They rant, cry, cuss, throw things and pitch hissy fits. Sometimes they wish for a magic bullet to take it all away & they think they wouldn't care if there were consequences for using it. They know, though, that there isn't one and to use anything that purports to be one can only make things worse. They know that their trials are temporary and they call on their own resources to help them through. They use their own experience, strength and resolve. They pray, they try to do things that help them relax or focus, they try to get enough sleep & take good care of themselves. And they call on their friends for encouragement, understanding and to hold them up. Sound like anyone we know? You are a non-smoker, PB, and you have the resources to come through this trial. You also have all of us to hold you up. You and your boys are in my thoughts and in my heart. I'm sending you strength and good wishes. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 108 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,160 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,188.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54
16 years ago 0 219 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wow PB. You've been through more than some people get in a whole lifetime, in less than a month! You deserve to feel whatever you need to so you can get through this. It can't stay this hard forever. What you don't deserve though, is a cigarette. That's just hurting yourself because you're already hurting... and that doesn't make sense anymore. You spent all this time working on uncovering the real identity of the smoking trap. Good for you that you left that pack of cheese in the trap at the convenience store and bought gum instead! You're a smart man... with a world class co-pilot:) You're cared for even when you don't feel it. I think your feelings of not caring might be from an overload of depression, grieving, fear, anger... whatever... but it's okay to feel them. If you think you need a little help with good council or a temporary anti-depressant to help you from falling more, it's okay to get a little hand in that area too. I'm so glad you posted. You are brave and wise even in the face of much trauma in your life right now. Keep in touch, so we can be too... xo, mk [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/14/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 15 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 225 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $56.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32

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