blue cloud
Sadly, that which you are experiencing is an outgrowth of addiction and has bedeviled many people along the path. I am one of those who has used smoking as an emotional shield for years. In the early days of my quit, I had to fight like crazy to keep from smoking every time "the other shoe fell"...And it sounds to me like there are a number of shoes falling in your life at this moment. I am sorry for that, but I will tell you one thing, a cigarette will never ever keep any of those shoes from falling.
What smoking will do is tell you the lie that nicotine eases your anxiety...Nicotine does nothing more than create the illusion that you feel better about your circumstances. It does this by raising the level and uptake of various neurotransmitters in the brain. This is what is "making you feel better"...What nicotine won't tell you is that you can achieve this same emotional state of being through exercise, diet and deep breathing. Nicotine is in effect a short cut to this state. However, as in all phases of the economy, we pay for convenience (short cuts) and nicotine extracts a heavy, heavy price.
I can hear in your post that you are having a very difficult time, and for that I am truly sorry. However, if you stay true to this course, develop coping mechanisms and break free of the addicition for good, the struggle will be worth its weight a thousand times over...Look forward and keep striding one step at a time, one crisis at a time and 1 thought at a time, until you have broken this thing down...I know that you can do this...
Stay strong and quit
nonic
I too am an "emotive smoker", however, I have chosen these other ways
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/25/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 216
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,480
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,512.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 39 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18