Sparky,
Like me, I know that you have had several failed quit attempts. I found that the absolute hardest thing for me was to trust myself again. I kept thinking, "I'm going to slip again! I just KNOW it!" After every single slip, I thought "THIS IS IT! I WON'T DO THAT AGAIN EVER' And yet I did! So trusting myself NOT to do it was REALLY hard. I kept asking myself, "what's REALLY going to make this time different?" The answer is N.O.P.E. and how dedicated you are to it. If you're dedicated to N.O.P.E. then there won't BE a next time! This IS it!
Your fear is stemming from your lack of trust in yourself. But I found that after my third slip, I was SO afraid, deathly afraid, of slipping... that there was no WAY I'd do it! And I think that's true for you too! If you really fear losing your quit, then you won't. In other words, if you fear losing your quit, then you have nothing to fear! ;p You're doing an awesome job and those fears that you have are normal. And eventually, you WILL start to trust yourself again. Until then, just keep taking it one day at a time. Today's almost over. I hope tomorrow is better for you!
Crave the Quit!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]6/17/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 745
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 18,625
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,076.85
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 52 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25