Hi Kev,
You have no idea how much I admire your strength and determination to keep trying to quit the addiction of smoking. You will succeed eventually and everyone at SSC will be here for you. I do feel it is this amazing stubborn streak of yours that will eventually set you free. Maybe I'm all wrong, but from the things you say, I also think it's your stubborn streak that might be holding you back right now.
You said: "I really don't want to think that I am stuffed with this addiction for life". I am very, very sorry to tell you this Kevin, but nicotine addiction is for life, just as any other addiction is. I am not a professional, but I will tell you from my own experience, you will only smoke until you die if you choose to do so. You can decide to let your addiction keep you smoking until you take your last breath or you can decide to take control and beat the addiction into submission. The choice is yours and yours alone.
Someone very wise wrote: "Our quits don't just fall out of the sky, we make them happen." No one can quit for you but you Kev. Yes, the first 3 days are very difficult. Yes, your addiction will scream to be fed. When it is screaming, you can think of the cravings as your body healing and your addiction dying. Every crave you beat is one less craving you have to handle to be in charge of the addiction. Know the withdrawl symptoms and cravings will not last forever. Just ask anyone who's made it through hell week...heck week is usually much easier...the week after is even easier....etc, etc, etc. Every person and every quit is different, but one thing remains the same...quitting is possible. You can do it, one second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Getting professional help need not be scary and could give you just the little extra knowledge you need to make this your last quit.
I'll be cheering you on Kev, even if I can't be here to post every day. I know you are stronger than than a paper wrapped stick of addiction.
:)
Pat
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/28/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 137
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,480
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,918.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 16 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14
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Quit Meter
$125,107.20
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 996
Hours: 10
Minutes: 34
Seconds: 40
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
6516
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
312,768
Cigarettes Not Smoked