Good morning everyone, If you have time.....please give me a few words.....even if you yell at me. I don't want to be discouraging in anyway.....but I feel a little discouraged myself this morning. It actually started yesterday. I'm sure this is just a new trigger I am not recognizing. Then again, maybe I do know what it is. Just not sure. I am starting another vacation today. My last vacation was to Florida and I was so proud of myself that I did not smoke even though my best friend does. But now.... I am having a vacation home. Just me and some R&R from work. (believe me, I need it) The "being alone" factor has always been my BIGGEST trigger. For some it is driving...coffee...friends...alcohol......BUT FOR ME IT IS RELAXING ALONE AT HOME AND DOING PROJECTS. My favorite patio chair watching the chipmonks in the woods and the birds at the feeder with coffee. So here I am having junkie thoughts all day yesterday. My daughter came over to help with the yard. It is quite a large yard and I keep it like a park. She smokes. While she was in the front yard I actually took a cigarette out of her pack and smelled it. I stood there frozen with two records in my head playing all at once. One was saying....."Go for it..smoke it"............the other was saying....."What the heck are you doing????? PUT IT BACK!" I swear the only thing that got me to put it back was thinking of how aweful I would feel about myself and how in some way I would dissapoint God. (I made a commitment to Him too) Tomorrow is the family and friends picnic at my daughters. Everyone smokes. Out of 14 people only 3 don't smoke!!! I am sure I will be fine as I have really not had triggers watching people smoke. Actually when they get close to me after they have smoked ....it REEKS. (PHEW) WELL, here I am, showered and ready to take my dog for a walk. Sometimes that helps. I keep thinking of the advice I have offered others.....and now when I need it I feel blank. So... if you've got time please yell at me....warn me....remind me of the ammunition we have to follow the straight and narrow. Feeling sort of angry at me for even having to ask at this stage of the game. NEWBIES... please know it isn't like this all the time. It is just part of my process. Everyones process is different. Thanks so much, Mercy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/21/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 125 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,500 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $558.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 16 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13