I am writing because this site has kind of become the journal of my quit. This is another chapter because I want to remind myself of how far I have come. I also took my own advice and went back to read my posts from the beginning of my quit. I saw a lot of familiar names in the responses, and some names that I haven't seen in a while.
In the beginning I was scared, like so many newbies. I see my doubts about being a non-smoker. Could I really do it? I see my (continuing) struggle with finding out who I am as a non-smoker. I see my trepidation about how I would deal with the craves, that actually never came, at least not as bad as for others.
Do I still want a smoke? Yes, sometimes. Will I smoke? No, not a chance. N.O.P.E. I have come too far and worked too hard to get here.
I was convinced from the beginning that I would know that I had "made it" when I understood the "freedom" part of the quit. To that end, I am getting there....
As I approach 100 days, a major milestone, I needed to look back to verify that I really did this. Yes, I am beginning to sense the freedom. Not fully there, and don't expect to be during the first year. But just a taste is enough to keep me going. Kinda like chocolate, one taste isn't enough. I need it all. It is my personal challenge.
Most days I don't even think about smoking...something I couldn't have imagined I would say 80 some days ago. (notice I said "most" days)
I would not have come this far without this site. To believe that total strangers...whom I will never meet... have laughed with me, and have cried with me. We have hurt together for those who have slipped and we have celebrated those who have struggled along with us. We have bared our souls and shared our lives. We may have been strangers in the beginning, but no longer.
I have rambled long enough. Sorry to put you through this for my own selfish reason...had I kept a real diary I would have had another outlet.
Hmmm, there's an idea....
Thanks everyone!
Nance
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/14/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 85
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,578
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $412.25
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 3
