I had been worried about this weekend! Spent Friday evening with a large group of friends, graduation parties. It did get to bother me a bit for awhile, the thought was "Yes, this is when I would have smoked", but of course, my brain has become accustommed to quit mode, yes, and that's all it was, a thought.
Then Saturday, I spent the day with my inlaws, who almost all smoke, and that was what I was most afraid of, I have lost a quit there a few years ago.
I was surprised. I didn't have a craving, as such, but at one point, I had a sad feeling, kind of a "yah, I wish I could, I would like to, but I can't do that anymore."
That kind of took me off guard, why should I be sad? You would think I would have felt delighted that I don't have to do that anymore...It was like I mourned the loss of not being able to join them. Weird huh?
At one point I was in the car with four smokers, all smoking at once, and aside from the annoyance of it, (the smell and all) that part didn't bother me.
So although I came through the weekend trials with flying colors, that sadness is still haunting me. Usually, the mourning thing happens in the first weeks and it did, so why again now???
It feels out of place. I should be doing the happy dance.
Then it dawned on me this morning.
Maybe I am mourning the fact that "That particular smoking relationship is dead." I won't be joining my sisters in law for a smoke again. That has to be it!
This is still so much of a learning process, every day is a triumph and sometimes an eye opener!
Smoke free @ 62!
:)
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 62
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,563
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $654.1
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 36
