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And there it was in my lap

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And there it was in my lap

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 290

My resolve had never been as shook as it got this afternoon. I was driving over to my in-laws house to drop off some tables for thankgiving in my truck. I usually drive my little honda, to save on gas, to work and back. I have never smoked in the honda, it has never been a problem. My truck, however, I smoked in it quite a bit. Yeah it smells funky...It is a work truck after all. Here is the the thing, when I quit, I got rid of all evidence of me being a smoker. I was the model SSC student as far as that goes. It appears I didn't check my truck good enough. I flipped the visor down, to block the sun, and down fell a pack of smokes. Now today wasn't a particularly bad day..but it wasn't a good one either. Kind of indifferent I guess. I could care less about one thing or the other, really. I picked it up off my lap, gave the pack a squeeze and felt there was indeed a couple cigs left in the pack. Right then, my mind went where I have spent weeks training not to go. My mind was giving me all the justifications for having one...I was alone...I could blame the smell from being in the truck.... etc..etc..etc....I distinctly recall saying to myself "not yet" as I hastily threw the pack out the window ( I justified littering too). That concerns the hell out of me, I was in a deep state at that time. I am afraid that came from the depths of my being, that deep in me I believe I will smoke again. I mean what is up with "not yet"? I almost turned the truck around to retrieve them, figuring what's the use. I backed off took a couple deep breaths, and figured I guess this is how I am dealing with this...I am giving myself options, and 2 weeks into it is not an option to start. How long into it when I say yup...it's time? ...Or am I just reading WAY too much into it? Get back to one day at a time ..dune!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 15 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 319 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $69 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 19 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Hi Dunedad, I really feel for you, but don't let the demon Nic' throw you. You're only a couple of weeks in right? Try as we may, temptation is going to hit us occasionally, and mentally its only normal to regress into comfort mode, with the constant prospect of a smoke imminent. My dad used to say "time heals all wounds", so I know that in time I'll be healed of all the wounding I've done my body, and the brain has to follow suit!! Meanwhile, the addiction plays`its tricks and will suck us back in if we weaken. I love the NOPE phrase, NOT ONE PUFF EVER!!! I had scary experience myself yesterday, I was in a basement carpark, and looked down at a half smoked, flattened, dirty cigarette. I honestly had to look away, as I could feel myself light it up!! And here I am allowing smokers to smoke around me with only a bit of discomfort, brought down by a dirty durrey, and I wasn't even craving a smoke!! Anyway back to reading the SSC, and whatever else turns you on because you've WON AGAIN! Keep it up you're doing really well! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/14/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 40 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,013 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $776 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 21 [B]Seconds:[/B] 22

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2631

You did it Dune! Happy Thanksgiving to you too (of course we ALL know Thanksgiving is in October....but heck... I'll celebrate again!) Windy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 73 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,478 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $365 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 46

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2039

There are moments like that, Dunedad, and you made it through!!!! Good for you. Keep your resolve strong. And seeing how it is your American thanksgiving, concentrate on that turkey!!!!! We had ours back in October, and now we have to wait until Christmas. Keep up the great work. Cheers, Jan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/14/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 9 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 283 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $81 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 233

Kevin, And you call me the hero! You actually had a pack in front of you! And you threw it away, now you are my hero and I will print this post and keep it in my quit journal! "Not Yet" doesn't mean anything. You did what you had to do to keep your quit, that is all that counts. I am so proud of you and hope that I am that strong if ever the time comes when cigs catch me unexpectedly. Great Job! ~Valic [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 23 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 117 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $121.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2838

Dunedad 17 vs Nicodemon 0 YOU WIN!!!! :) (Not Nicodemon, the member, Nicodemon the enemy. We have got to change your name......) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 77 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,875 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $616 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 19 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2838

Looking good there, Nico..... :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 77 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,896 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $616 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 8760

Hosss, Never be afraid to reach out for support or just a little encouragement. How is week three treating you? How can we help? Danielle _____________________ The SSC Support Team

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5009

Good man Dunedad! You will be all the stronger for this experience. Thank you for posting this - it shows everybody here how it is possible to win!! all the best to you Mr Ed :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 296 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,894 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �2220 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 49 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 19 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2257

Kevin - YAY! I am huggin you through the computer for ~BREATHING~ through the junkie talk! So proud, so proud! CobenFan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 242 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,130 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $847 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 22 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 37 [B]Seconds:[/B] 15

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And there it was in my lap