I said I would not post while I was smoking, but just read your post. I lost two sisters from lung cancer. I so feel your pain. One of my sisters was my best friend, a mother figure, sister my everything. We had talked to each other everyday for almost 30 years. She died 11 years ago and still miss her so much. The sad part is she had quit for 13 years and it still got her. But she said if I hadn't maybe it would have gotten me sooner.
But, when she died all I could feel was graditude that I was so very blessed with a sister like her. Her life was cut short but she gave so much. After she died I relized that she had never ever broke a single promise that she made to me. Wow, I wish I could say the same about myself.
When she called and told me she had cancer; I about died. I am sure your dad is very special to you. Try and look at the good times with him. Embrace each day you have with him.
My brother also died of cancer and had the same additude as your father. In fact he didn't even tell us he was so sick. Didn't find that out until he had passed away.
My other sister didn't share her cancer with the family. She and her husband chose to do it that way. I never had a chance to say good bye to her.
You have some time use it and let your dad know how much he means to you. When his time comes you will feel so much better about, I promise.
I didn't want to make this all about my family, I only wanted you to know I understand where you are at. I so admire you for maintaining your quit.
Enough, I will keep you and yours in my prayers. God Bless you and yours.
Sharon