Well, I started a new med on Monday, the Effexor was horrible and I stopped after 6 days. The doc put me on Lexapro, said it has a very low occurance of side effects. I was off work Mon & Tues and I took it in the afternoon. It made me speedy, but that was the only side effect I noticed. I also noticed that I couldn't keep a worried thought in my head for more than a few seconds! This was very good, as I could still concentrate on other things. He said to take an Ativan if the 'speeding' was a problem, which I did about 2 hours after taking the Lexapro. I had to go to work Wed evening and drive, so I was concerned as to how I would react, but it was great! All night I drove around like a normal person, no scary thoughts, no worrying about if I could make it back to the store. I couldn't believe it! So yesterday I did the same thing, Lexapro about 1pm and then a Ativan an hour before work, but it was horrible! I was a nervous wreck all night! I don't understand the difference! Instead of not being able to keep a bad thought in my head, I couldn't think of anything else! AAARRGGG!!! I was even thinking about leaving my car at work and riding home with my husband, it was that bad. But I took another Ativan an hour before I was to go home and I did make it, but it was hard. I have thought very hard about this and why it happened. Do you think that I could have sabotaged myself by "testing" the med to see if I could still freak out on it? I had felt very good the first 3 days and was telling myself that I couldn't freak on this med, it was working so well. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to have many good days in a row. Sometimes I feel like I'm punishing myself with panic. Does anyone understand this? Now I don't want to go to work again tonight and it's Friday and we're gonna get killed.
