I had a really bad experience. Someone dumped their dog on me. A woman dropped her dog off and never came back. This infuriates me. Whatever you think angry and furious is, multiply it by ten or 20. I smash things, throw things, scream, swear, and if the person was in front of me, quite likely engage in a beatdown they would not forget if they survived. I was thusly involved when a customer agitated by my antics lit a cig right in my shop. I said "I want a cigarette so bad, I can hardly stand it" so the guy handed me his cigarette. I took it, took one little experimental puff. It was not as bad as I expected. I coughed, but not choked like I normally do. Not like I expected. Of course it wasn't like a real deep drag either. It tasted vile, of course. I handed the cig back to the guy and said "Thanks for the offer but I don't smoke. Neither do the animals so if you would step outside I'd appreciate it."
Last night I reran the incident in my dreams except it wasn't one cigarette it was a whole pack. It wasn't one little half hearted puff, it was a whole cigarette. I dreamed that I had this pack of cigarettes and flushed them down the toilet because I don't smoke.
I'm a non-smoker. Something in my head shifted gears almost without knowing. This morning I was well into my morning before I realized that I did not have the morning crave. Something has changed, some fundamental part of the way I think of myself. Once I admitted to myself and publicly to being a non-smoker, some synapse clicked into another place.
I don't know if I'm explaining this correctly or even making sense at all.
By the way, the dog, a beautiful white toy sized poodle had to go to rescue. He will stay in rescue for two weeks the legal time limit for my obligation to keep him, then he will be placed. There are already a few homes wanting him.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/27/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 41
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,241
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $410
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 1 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55