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I'm speechless.

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2631

Yeah Jan! You go girl!!! Back in the saddle again!..... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 59 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,198 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $295 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2631

Hi Jan So sorry to hear about your tumble....Coming over to wrestle those smokes out of your hand. Having experienced depression in the past, it really scared me the first time it hit during this quit. I have always experienced depression when moving, changing jobs, ending a relationship (any time which involved losing a friend) so it wasn't surprising that I would grieve the loss of my smokes. Anyway - I have no idea if this will help or not....but I did read a book by a man (who hates patches by the way....but I have used them and read the book) If there's any possibility of messaging you, you might like to see if you can get a copy....because I think it helped me to understand why I became emotionally dependent on smokes and then to realize that they were not helping with the issues. Having said that, I reserve the right to totally mess up in the future. I certainly don't know all the answers (in fact I don't know much...but don't tell anyone)....but it did help me quite abit. Jump back in...We need our Jan!! We will catch ya - honest! Windy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 59 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,195 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $295 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 598

Jan, it's okay. Just a small setback, no big deal! :) Regroup, regain your strength, and continue the fight against that nasty nicodemon. Past is past, looking forward to the future. Life is short, my friend! :) Cheers, nmc [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 76 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 767 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $380 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 598

Yeah, never quit quitting, Jan! :) Cheers, nmc [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 76 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 768 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $380 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2039

Thanks guys for your encouragement. You really are a great group. I'm doing ok. I'll make it through this. Cheers, Jan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/10/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 0 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2039

Thanks everyone for the wonderful feedback. I will never give up. Sometime I think I'm a tough nut to crack. Every time I quit I seem to get so far and then the depression kicks in. I am prone to depression(not severe) but depression just the same. I am currently taking paxil, but sometimes I have to wonder about its effectiveness. It doesn't combat the depression from not smoking. I go see my doctor next Thursday for a physical and I'll talk to him then. I don't plan on waiting til then to put my patch back on. Its something I must do very soon. I'm wrestling with it right now. I got the cigs from my daughter's purse. I can't say she left them in open sight, because she didn't. I went looking for them. Oh how I wish there was an "easy" button. Jan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/16/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 24 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 738 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $216 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2039

I am speechless again. Totally awed by your depth of support and understanding. This was a stupid thing to do. I know that. Just as I know that the quit itself sends you on an emotional rollercoaster. But that's NOTHING compared to how awful I felt today. I would much rather deal with all the ups and downs of this quit than with the devastation of smoking. So...patch firmly in place, I am ready to get on with it. I have adjust my quit meter to show tomorrows date, and to teach myself a lesson. God Bless you all for your compassion. I would be lost without you. Jan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/10/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 0 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2039

I never expected this to happen. Today...I smoked. I wanted to say so earlier, but I just couldn't. The past few days have been hard, barely hanging by a thread. I should have said so. I never wanted to let myself down this way, and I didn't want to let you guys down either. You have come mean so much to me. I feel horrible right now. Jan

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2039

There certainly are blue skies, QM. Lets hope they're not too far away. I'm OK. Thanks for the support. Cheers, Jan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/10/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 45 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 56 [B]Seconds:[/B] 2

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2830

Jan, What you did was stupid, yes, but as long as you learn from your mistakes and do NOT do it again, then you are all the wiser for it. Some of us need to touch the stove a few times to see if it's hot... YEP! IT'S STILL HOT!!! Now that you know that, and you also know that you don't want to do it again, then OK. Welcome back! Stick close to the site and make a plan for the future. If you're at the point where you are going to smoke again, have a plan! Let it start with "Before I smoke, I must..." and then list a few things you will do when you get to that point. They could be post here and wait for 10 replies, email a quit buddy and wait for a response, IM a quit buddy, call somebody who supports your quit, read your reasons for quitting, etc... don't let yourself smoke before doing these things! Because I can gaurantee you that if you do at least 3 of these things, you will have enough time to rethink your decision and not smoke. So make a plan for next time. A slip is not the end of the world, OR the end of your quit... unless you let it be. Crave the Quit! Pam [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 377 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 9,444 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1557.01 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 27 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 59 [B]Seconds:[/B] 15

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I'm speechless.