Hi Aleks
I totally feel for ya. At least by coming to this site and reading the posts you know that you are soooo not alone! I wish I had discovered this site sooner and I could've accepted my illness much better. I mean, I used to read books on panic and I knew other people had it but until I actually read it by people who have it in their own words, I didn't totally understand. NOw I know this is not my fault and I don't deserve this and either do any of us. There seems to be a tendancy to blame people who have this and we also blame ourselves. For me, that (the guilt and blame) was (sometimes still is) half the battle.
Do you take meds for this condition? I know a lot of people will say meds aren't the solution but I just think - if you were diabetic, you would take insulin, right? It took me a long time to feel this way though, I avoided meds until I completely broke down-now I wish I would have started them sooner and spared myself a lot of hell!
Anyways, I guess I'm babbling a bit. I hope by knowing you're not alone and we are all with you in your struggle will give you some comfort.
Take care
Sarah