I want to start off by saying smoking again is NOT an option for me, but I am having a much harder time of it in the last two days, then I did in the last week.
I am a waitress in a bar, yesterday I was half way to a table with a tray of drinks, when I experienced major cold sweats, heart beating a mile a minute, I had to put the tray down at an empty table and take a deep breath. I didn't feel "normal" for a full hour after.
Today I Dropped a full tray of empty glasses, I forgot the simpilist things, I have been a waitress for 15 years, I don't make these kind of crazy errors!
But the thing that is bothering me the most is, I feel numb. Dead, I drive to work, with no emotion, ( I really hate driving now because those were the greatest smokes,)
I am really trying to stay upbeat, I swear. But its running me over lately.
Like I said earlier, I will not start again, but I desperatly want to feel better,
I thought after the first week it would improve a bit. not get worse.
I don't want to be a big complaining loser, but I just need to know it is going to get better.
Help!
Sous