Earlier today I was trying to explain this to a co-worker and she was totally not getting it, but then again, she's a non-smoker and always has been so I guess she wouldn't. (Duh)
Anyway, I have been a smoker for my ENTIRE ADULT LIFE. Other than the short two times that I quit, I have NEVER coped with the ups and downs of life without nicotine - and - throughout my whole entire adult life I have...
- always followed up every meal with a smoke;
- always followed up intimacy with a smoke;
- always dealt with problems by stopping whatever I was doing to smoke;
- always celebrated good times with a smoke;
- always dealt with grief with extra tar and nicotine;
- always punctuated my workday with smoke-breaks;
- always smoked when I drove;
- always smoked during (non-work-related) phone calls;
- always smoked when drinking coffee.
That�s a lot of alwayses. Alwayses that will now be transformed into Nevers. Suddenly, overnight, I have changed the way I do just about everything. And guess what. There ain�t no patch for coping with that.
BUT
I don't want every aspect of my life to be experienced through a haze of smelly smoke anymore.
I don't want every decision I make to be influenced by whether I'll be free to smoke or not.
[b]I want to experience life without all the nonproductive, health-endangering, frowned-upon-by-most-of-the-rest-of-the-world smoke-breaks taking up so much of my day![/b]
It takes me about 7 minutes to smoke one of my (former brand of) cigarettes... at 30 a day, that's 210 minutes - THREE AND A HALF HOURS - out of every single day that I've been totally wasting while suckin' smoke! Oh, sure, I always rationalized it, "We were talking shop the whole time," or "I took work with me outside," but c'mon, I know deep inside the real truth - the vast majority of that time was wasted. Gone.
I'm not doing that anymore. I can be one really stubborn woman, and this time I'm gonna use that stubbornness to get me through a TOTAL life overhaul.
Sorry for going on so long, but I figured at least someone HERE will get what I'm sayin'! :)
Thank you for all the support here, I love having a place to vent!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 8
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 265
[B