My marriage when through a lot of turmoil when my husband and I quit smoking. Let's face it, we avoid things by smoking. We used smoking to avoid all kinds of emotions, issues, etc. We smoked instead of communicating about the real issues! Now that we aren't smoking, all that stuff that got swept under the carpet, all that stuff that never got dealt with is coming into the light. The smoke is clearing and all that 'stuff' can clearly be seen now. Sometimes that can be pretty scary.
At first, depending on the amount of 'stuff', it can be a bit overwelming. Overwhelming feelings can trigger a time that we use to run off and smoke to (not) deal with the issues. If we give this trigger power it will turn into a crave. If we use this trigger as an opportunity to learn new communication/relationship skills ... the trigger dies and the new life skills kick in. Emotional associations to smoking are broken and we end up experiencing less triggers.
I just wanted to post to say you are not alone and that it can all work out. It did for me. I am still working on acquiring new skills, but I've come a long way.
I've been married 13 years and have 3 kids. I told my husband that I would get a divorce before I'd go back to smoking. And make no mistake, I love my husband very much. But in order to love him, I must love myself. And quitting is one of the most loving things I can do for myself. Learning new communication/coping skills really helps. It helps me in life and it helps my quit.
2 birds with one stone ... gotta love it!
Fondly,
Free
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 138
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,154
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $552
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 34 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10
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Quit Meter
$55,130.40
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 6078
Hours: 1
Minutes: 29
Seconds: 25
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45942
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
137,826
Cigarettes Not Smoked
