Don't know what else to call this so there it is!
For those who abhor pragmatism and reality (or cynacism and negativity in your view), please leave now.
At almost 6 months without even the teeniest of slips, I am very proud of my struggle....and what a time it has been. I am finally getting some respite but the triggers of daily life have me craving almost daily- my throat and lungs seem to "ache" for the smoke. But these do at least come and go with the passing of each day and that is a huge relief compared to the first 2 months of an almost constant crave. If it bothers you to read this...move on.
Rather than completely changing everything in my life, I have tried to eliminate just this one thing...smoking. I still drink several cups of strong coffee; I still drink alcohol on occasion; I still associate with my dear friends who still smoke. My life, other than nicotine, is essentially unchanged. My philosophy, if there is one, is that I need to face this head on. I need to embrace this fear. The way I saw it in the beginning was if only 5% or so are able to do it, I might as well do it with a vengeance. With such poor statistics, what difference would it make? And sadly, the stats are about right. The Knights of February 2006 on this site have diminished to a handful from around 70. It's reality, people. I have embraced the crave so to speak. I don't know if this is wise or foolish, but the fact that I'm still here says something.
Perhaps it was my up-bringing. My parents didn't believe in coddling the child. If something was going to be difficult, you went into it knowing it was going to be difficult. And you weren't rewarded simply because you made it through what you were supposed to make it through; so even the concept of rewards here, while I understand the theory, seems a bit silly to me. It's just me and my quit. No one owes me a thing. I made my bed and now I'm sleeping in it.
I'm really not as volatile as some might think here. I set my mind to something and I usually do it (just stay out of the reach of my scissors!). Believe it or not, I actually laugh quite a bit. Just don't get me going on politics.
My chief method here has been the contract with my self. Set a contract for a certain time frame and then renegotiate. 1 month,