Hi Dawn,
Wow, you must get really lonely and bored stuck out there in the country if you're used to big city life. I couldn't do it, I need the noise and the shops etc, I'd be the hell out of there. I tried house sitting my brother's cottage in a tiny village once and it completely freaked me out. There was just nothing to do and nowhere to go! I admire you for sticking with it for the sake of your boys!
Maybe it just takes some time to settle in and find the right circle of people. Do you go out much, eg to clubs or church, where you might find other people who feel just as isolated?
I've had six sessions of CBT and I've been seeing an analytical therapist once a week for the past year. The CBT hasn't helped me much, but the analytical therapy is great. I still get anxious but I understand more where it's coming from and it doesn't control me anywhere near as much as it did only a year ago. Now I feel I'm an ok person who has panic attacks, just like other people get back pain. Before the therapy it had really got out of control, spiralling down and down, and I felt like a complete failure that I couldn't get my act together.
I think it is important to find out where the panic comes from. It's all well and good to learn how to master it with CBT, and I'm not saying it's not a very useful tool that can help you a lot, but ultimately I still think you need to get to the root of the problem, else it just comes out somewhere else.
Marianne
