This came from another website I was reading on smoking cessation. I was looking for it on this site and have not seen it. You can do a search on quit buddies and it will give you the link.
MEET THE 20 BUDDIES:
They're here for you, each with his own, unique contribution to your life.....
1. "Hi! I'm the buddy who stains your teeth!"
2. "Hey there! I'm the one who drops hot sparks on your lap and burns holes in your pants!"
3. "Hello; I'll make your curtains beige, instead of white, and gunk up your windows."
4. "Greetings! How'd you like your breath to smell like homemade crap...?"
5. "Howdy! I'd like to work my rancid, smoky odor into all your furniture, rugs, drapes and clothes..."
6. "Hi; remember me? I'm the one who sticks to your lip, and when you go to remove me from your mouth, your fingers slide down to the tip and grab the glowing ember and you get scorched? Yeah! How ya been?"
7. "Yo! I'm the one whose lit embers blow back into your rear seat while you're driving and set the car's upholstery on fire."
8. "He.... HACK! HACK! HACK! Hel... HACK! HACK!...HAWK! PTOOOEY! Hello, there!"
9. "Hey! I'm the one your kid sneaked out of the pack to take out to the woods with his pals. Sad; you never even missed me..."
10. "Good evening. I'm the last one in the pack; the one that makes you walk thru the rain or snow to the convenience store so you won't be stuck with no smokes in the morning."
11. "Yoohooo! Over here! Want a chronic cough? How about emphysema?"
12. "Hello. I'm the one you don't really think about, but reach for automatically when the phone rings, or you turn the key in the car's ignition."
13. "Hi! I'm the one you suck down in about 27 seconds, just before you rush back inside from your work break."
14. "Hey, sweetheart! I'm the one you really wanted, but had to crush out and leave behind because of something that came up someplace else where you CAN'T smoke."
15. "Hi! I'm going to bring you chest pains and a 4:00AM ride to the emergency room, because you just might be having a coronary. No--I was just kidding you! HAHAHA! (Where's your sense of humor?)"
16. Hello. I'm going to constrict your circulatio