Lately, I have been watching my boyfriend's actions everytime he goes out to smoke. Before I quit, I would have told you, with 100% cincerity, that I didn't think about smoking very often when I smoked... I just did it, but I didn't think about it. No, seriously! I thought that! But lately, as I've been watching my boyfriend's behavior, I have noticed a few things.
[b]#1. Smokers DO think about smoking![/b]
You think that YOU think about smoking now that you've quit?!?!? I promise you, you probably don't think about it as much as smokers do! When we quit, it's true that we think about smoking almost non-stop in the beginning. It's hard to get your mind off of it, but smokers do that too... except for the fact that the longer we go without smoking, the more time we develop between the times when we think about it. Smokers think about smoking ALL THE TIME! I'll be sitting there, and all of a sudden, he'll get up and go out to smoke. Each time he does that, I think to myself "if I were a smoker, I would have thought about getting up and smoking too, but the thought to smoke didn't even occur to me until he got up." If it weren't for him and this site, I don't think I would ever think about smoking at all. What freedom!
[b]#2 Smokers aren't happy when they are smoking[/b]
Boy, of all of the junkie lies I told myself, this one was a hard one (and still is sometimes) to get over. I convinced myself that I really loved smoking. I did! I still believe that I liked it... not because I liked smoking, but because I didn't like NOT smoking! If I could have felt the way I felt after having a cigarette without having to have a cigarette to feel that way, then I probably would have chosen that option. It's not like a nice ice cream sundae with carmel sauce, whipped cream and a cherry that I actually enjoy the taste of... smoking is (and I'm starting to believe always was) disgusting to me. I didn't like myself when I did it and I didn't like myself when I didn't do it, so I was stuck. But I really don't think it was the act of smoking I enjoyed. I have read many people on this site (myself being one of them) that have said that they really, truly enjoyed smoking. I no longer believe it. I have started watching my boyfriend when he goes outside
