EVE, As Always you did a great piece. You may have to write a self help Book. Keep up quit and have a free weekend.\ I agree Nick - is a he ********** noel [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 91 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,833 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $273 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 34 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

Great post Eve! Just one thing - You refer to your 'best friend' as a 'he' - I've always been convinced that the Nicodemon was female! :eg: all the best Mr Ed :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 145 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,359 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �1087.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 24 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 21 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4

Thank you circuit!!! :) Ok, I now have to do the nic persona thing. LOL. Last post before swimming I promise! The male/female polarity of our nicodemon friend I was going to respond about the nicodemon being referred to as 'male' in this post because of my own 'in'security issue surrounding it. I just made a connection to the fact that when my parent's split, it took on a male persona because it was my FATHER who had LEFT the house. Mom was still there, raising me. No need for a 'mom' security blanket. She was still present. Thus, there is an issue surrounding abandonment when I was younger that smoking picked up some of the slack for. If you are male you may have experienced nicodemon as a female energy for the same reasons, not that your mom had left, but that she may not have been fully 'present' in your childhood, etc. There are so many reasons why we pick up smoking to beging with. This is just another stepping stone I've stumbled upon and have the courage to life it up and show it to you all. If we can go and look at those reasons from our youth or whenever it was that we decided to smoke, we may discover things that we have been holding onto that are NOW SAFE TO HEAL! That is what I am doing, and finding it easier as I write more and understand why I made those choices and why I became addicted in the first place. If you are ready to do that then you have my applause and support! After all, I am all about TRUTH now, and I don't feel that I can honestly live any other way. I have to be ME. Period. I am ready to heal. And you know what, IT FEELS GREAT TO HEAL ME!!! Many Blessings!!! Eve :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 91 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 733 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $273 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

Mr Ed! You can be my Mr. "Ed"itor! ;p Thanks for your support friend!! Wow, Josie THANK YOU! I am just sticking with the writing as I am just pummelling it out this week, and just going with the flow. I am not expecting anything from this, except my own self to awaken further which really is not an expectation at all, it is just happenning naturally the more I write. I went to bed around 3am last night after writing this last Illusion post. I just never know when the urge will hit, but I am not worrying about the time. After all it is really important that I just get it all out there and written right now if I am ever to take the writing to a higher level. Thanks for all of your continual support on my journey! Shevie, I just can't tell you how much of this is inspired by your continual motivation on each of these posts. But it's ALOT. ;) ex, that is absolutely the truth, up close and personal. I really like the way you describe it too-an invisible force- a real illusive occurrance that really had us fooled. You are handling life beautifully now and just look at that meter! 6 more days and you will be on the cruise ship with us!! I am REALLY looking forward to your coming aboard!! Thank you all for all of your continued support on my journey and sharing it with me here. I don't know that I would be here doing well without you all!! Many Blessings, Eve :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 91 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 733 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $273 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4

My Best Friend. Illusion #7 "C'mon, sit over here and we'll have a smoke together and deal with it." Yeah, right. I can't believe I listened to that lie, almost every day of my life. But it didn't stop there. There were SO MANY lies that my 'best friend' told me, and I was so far deep under my best friend's spell that even I could not make sense of the truth any longer, nor did I even know what the truth really was for I could not piece any of it together. How can you see the truth when you don't even know what the truth looks like? Nothing made sense to me. Things happenned to me and it never made sense. I was a good person. But you know, life happens. Sometimes things are good or bad, depending on your perspective. It is how you really see it. The truth is things just ARE. My friend left. It just happenned. IT JUST IS. Deal with it head on. That is part of what you are supposed to do. Get over it, let go and move on. One door closes, another one opens. There will be other friends. That was how I was able to change my own perspective, by looking at the situation just as an "IS", not by judging it as being 'good' or 'bad'. And that is what started my thinking process about dealing with life in a different way, instead of trying to cope with the smoke. But for now, I will share why I kept listening to the lies. Lies that might have killed me one day, if I had not stood up for myself. Losing a friend can be tough, but losing a best friend can be devastating. I sure now that all too well. Friends have come and gone in my life forever but I have also lost ALL my best friends along the way too, even the ones that you are supposed to have for life. Why? It's just the way my life went. But, my REAL best friend was always there for me, to help me along. And all he really did was USE me, so he could be fed more of what he wanted. So in truth my REAL best friend used me! Which leads me to believe that all the friends who have come and gone in my life and even the best ones who were supposed to stick around were not really good for me in the first place, so up in smoke went all the friendships and then the smoke came down and joined me in my alone-ness. I was alone. Most of my life I had been a loner. I was never a crowd person, even though I did enjoy fun fe

Hey Eve, That stress is such an invisible force. Isn't it incredible how nicotine convinced us that it could relieve stress, when all it was doing was keeping us in a constant state of stress from the withdrawal? Thanks for sharing your thoughts. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 44 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,205 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $165 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

Another fantastic post, Eve. :) Shevie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/23/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 411 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,229 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1561.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 76 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 58 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18

Eve, When do we get to see your name in lights! Your critique of the nicodemon is right on! You are an eloquent writer and many of us have learned to be honest and look within ourselves through your "illusions". Please continue sharing with us and know that you have succeeded within this quit with flying colors! Keep Strong, Josie _____________________ The SSC Support Team.