Grounded and Ready, Illusion #4
Ok so I needed grounding. And I needed to smoke to ground. What a load of crap. I was never ungrounded. But I was off kilter, so to speak. Or at least, my perception was!!
My biggest lie that I told myself was that since I had made all these changes in my life and was really paying attention to the spiritual side of things, and kept professing that I could not stay grounded when I began meditating, I needed something that would keep me here in my physical body and ground me to the physical world when I was done with my meditating. Well, there are plenty of ways to do this, however smoking was never considered to be one of these methods, unless of course, you were in a tribe or ceremony with the natives.
Native American Indians used pipe tobacco for ceremonial purposes, but they never abused it. When I discovered spirituality and these methods of grounding it was just another excuse to justify my addiction. Thus, when we smoke nowadays and attach the meditation and grounding label to it, all we are saying is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience and that gives us the right to smoke if need be to stay in our physical bodies. Otherwise we may pop out of our bodies at any given moment and float away to Jupiter if we don�t inhale on a regular basis. That�s crap and I mean that�s a real load of it. I had myself convinced I could not stay grounded without the tobacco. Even though my smoking was less than 1/2 pack a day, it was no excuse to smoke at all. But I sure used it and with that I also abused it,
because even after grounding, the excuses started in about stress. I had no stress. It was all an illusion.
This one illusion about needing to ground, however, was so strong that it lead me to believe that I had to smoke to relieve stress too. It was �just one� for stress. So, my 3 a day for grounding and the other 2 or 3 for stress led to almost half a pack a day, depending on my �stress� level for that day. Talk about a horde of crap! It was one illusion after another, just like a web of lies, yet spun and finely woven illusions that were leading me down a very dangerous path.
I was close to self destruction as I took my very last puff. And there is no meditation in the world that will save your life w