Hi, Babs.
23 days smoke-free. Wow! Ain't it great?!? :)
You are having a heck of a rough ride, but you are doing it with a strength and determination that is truly inspiring. My hat is off to you.
There are a couple of things that I'm sure you're aware of, but I'm going to say them anyway (I like the sound of my own typing, lol).
First is the emotional aspect. When we started smoking, we essentially put our emotional development on hold. Instead of facing problems and emotions and just dealing with them, we began hiding behind cigarettes. We never developed the coping mechanisms that never-smokers have. Now we don't have that smoke screen to hide behind and we don't know how to deal with life one-on-one. There are years (decades?) of learning how to live life that we now have to do much more quickly.
The biggest problem, as I see it, isn't the having to adjust, though. It's the lack of understanding that we and those around us have about this issue. Nobody, including us, seem to realize there is some degree of emotional retardation that we have to correct and that correction requires some time. Some of us will correct quickly, some of us will require months. So have patience with yourself, and explain this to hubby; perhaps it will help him to cope a bit, too.
The second issue is the junkie aspect, the craves, the triggers. Once you're through the detox period (first 3 - 4 days) craves are memory triggered. You experience something that you used to smoke while doing (even just once) and that triggers a crave. Everytime you get past one of these events without smoking, that weakens the association between the event and smoking. Eventually the association will be extinguished, the link will be broken, and you can experience the event crave-free. Sometimes this happens on the first occurrance, sometimes it takes several times, but eventually it will happen. It, too, just takes patience and persistence.
I know this is rough and confusing and frustrating for you , Babs. But please understand that you really are doing great in your quit and I, for one, am very proud of you. ;)
Shevie