Day 6 No Nic Stix. Yay. woohoo. I should be [proud of myself right? Then why do I feel like big poopy doo? It must have staretd out when I woke up this morning. Oh the bed was wonderful at 5am, warm and snuggly with an hour left on the clock to just nuzzle in the pillow and continue dreaming. But alas. The alarm went off and I was going to work. Ok fine, have it your way I said to the responsible "me" voice. The one who is always going "take out the garbage nd do the recycling already geez, hey-wash that dish now, make that file folder for the new paperwork before lunch, have the salad not the garden burger, have the garden burger not the fries, have the water not the soda, oh man oh man does the list go on forever. yeah her, miss boring blasi blah. Well she wanted it her way today again and well I wasn't happy with her and so we fought and wound up being much later for work today than we've been all week. (sorry if this sounds weird, me talking like I am both first and second person, but in this case, I am! There is something that is true about this too, the way we all feel we should be doing the exact right thing at the moment we think it, that miss or mr prim and proper persona within us, ok well mine is really nutso since the smoke died. I just can't get a break from her. And then I feel bad becase of something small and stupid and then I fall to pieces as a result. Well now I am in the danger zone of smoking again and though right now I am still smoke free I have no idea how long I will make it. So here's the rest of my day and story. The hair did NOT work today. Put it up or leave it down? GOD I WISH I HAD A SMOKE TO HELP ME DECIDE!!!!!!! Checked the time: 8:30am. OMG I AM GONNA BE SO LATE!!! DA*** I WANT A SMOKE!!! I know, I'll just make a small pot of coffee and the crave will taper itself off after i'm done and then I'll hop in the car and go. Work ETA: somewhere before noon.
Arrive at 10:30am. No hello's or good mornings. FROM ANYONE. GEE NICE TO SEE YALL TOO AND THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT PEOPLE. *Considers quitting job at 10:35 am*
Lunch: Only thing that kept me sane. I went with my WONDERFUL friend who is the only other sane person there. Or perhaps I have it backwards. He's the only other INSANE person besides me there, and we help to keep ea