Hi, Abby. Welcome to the SSC.
Of course there's hope for you. Your post here is proof of that. You still desire to quit, where there is desire there is hope. All that remains is to cultivate that desire to quit until it is stronger than the desire to smoke.
It seems obvious that you are not entirely ready, but you must be aware that waiting for the right time is doom. The right time will never happen. Want proof? Try waiting until all the traffic lights are green before you leave the house next time. Ain't gonna happen.
But you are on the right path. Until you are ready I suggest you learn as much as you can about this addiction, both on this site and others. Study back into our archives. I doubt there is much to experience in quitting that hasn't been discussed here.
And also, I suggest you examine every cigarette you smoke. Every time you light up, ask yourself "Why am I smoking this?" and do not be satisfied with the answer "Because I like it". That answer is a junkie's lie. Were you bored, sad, angry, annoyed,...?
Ask yourself "Is it truly helping anything?". You'll find the true answer is "No".
Pay close attention to what is happening to you as you smoke it. Feel the heat on your fingers and lips, in your mouth and throat. Feel the burning in your eyes. Notice the difference in color of what is exahaled and know that the difference is what stays in your lungs. Do you have any rattles or gurgles in your chest? Hear and feel them as you smoke. Soon as you're done, try running up a flight of stairs, or do some deep knee bends.
I did this before I quit a little over 7 months ago. By the time I reached the point of quitting I was so disgusted and sick of smoking that quitting was the only option.
Keep working on it, Abby. You aren't a failure as long as you keep trying. You can do this, we can help. :)
Shevie
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/23/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 238
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,769
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $904.4
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 44 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10
