i had the dream last night. that i smoked an entire cigarette. it was blond with long legs, and every drag oozed with desire. it last over an hour it felt like, each moment savored. it had a brown filter unlike the brand i had smoked for years - new, dangerous, and luxurious. even in my dream i felt like a cheater. upon waking up, i was consumed with guilt. it took me a few waking minutes to realize that, it was a dream, that i had not let myself down.
Con - This is indicative of my mental state these past couple of days. With the honeymoon period over, i'm find my thoughts drift back. and longing......
Pro - I felt i had let myself down, hence I am a non-smoker and made a serious commitment to myself and would be devestated if I broke that promise.
Honestly, I am trying to treat it like an ex. After some time goes by i forget how nasty and skanky they were, and the rosy colored glasses and I would reminisce about the "good times". So i'm reminding myself that if i do the pathetic, lame thing and "call", it will just turn out bad and i'll end up feeling worse anyway.
any hints for the longing?
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/3/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 23
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 191
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $45.08
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 22 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19
-
Quit Meter
$159,670.00
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 5128
Hours: 8
Minutes: 34
Seconds: 22
Life Gained
-
Quit Meter
45620
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
912,400
Cigarettes Not Smoked
