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please, no tough love right now!!!

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please, no tough love right now!!!

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2830

Hi folks! Thanks for coming to my rescue. I'm still here and still smoke free. I'm not quite sure how many times a person can say "that's it! I give up!" and still not give in... I'm really not trying to set a record, I swear! :eg: Thanks everyone for the help. I know I'll get through this. But it's really nice to know that the support is here when I need it. Pam [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 160 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,019 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $660.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 1 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2830

I made a promise to post and wait for responses before I gave up, so that's what I'm doing. I've been going over and over in my head what I would tell myself if I were someone here posting that they need help... take a walk, breathe, do something to distract yourself, I even tried taking a swim... that's the one place where no matter what's going on in my life, everything disapears from my life as long as I'm in the swimming pool... the only problem is that at some point, I have to get OUT of the swimming pool and everything in my life comes back. Smoking has been a constant thought for the last 4 or 5 days. I know, I know... kick the junkie to the curb and don't give him any power. I've tried that!!! I've tried keeping busy, I've tried reading my reasons for quitting. This little bracelet on my arm is about the only thing keeping me from smoking right now because how can I smoke with a bracelet that says N.O.P.E. on my wrist? Even still, that's not enough right now. I know that things are still going to happen even if I smoke, and at this point, it would taste rather disgusting and would probably make me sick. I've been rationalizing that to myself for hours now... but the fact is that the more I rationalize to myself that smoking isn't going to solve anything, that only means that I'm thinking about smoking that much more!!! I just want to not think about it anymore! The only good thing that smoking did for me was it numbed my senses. It dulled the pain. When we quit, EVERYTHING is heightened... smell, taste, anger, saddness, irritibility, guilt, EVERYTHING!!! Some of those are good, but some are not and I just want to not feel anything anymore. Please, I don't want any tough love right now... I don't want to be yelled at. I don't really want to hear that things are going to get better either... I don't know exactly what I want nor do I know what I expect to get from writing this... but I made a promise, so here I am. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 160 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,015 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $660.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 36

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 191

Hang in there BFS... :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/17/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 385 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 15,425 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2310 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 64 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

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$383,180.63

Amount Saved
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Days: 9893 Hours: 14

Minutes: 51 Seconds: 19

Life Gained
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45414

Smoke Free Days
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1,226,178

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 715

Good 4u Pam :) I'm doing better today also! WOOHOOOOOOOOO!!! I got out, went to Bally's to swim & work-out. Geez it's so hard to get myself there but feels so good after :) Tomorrow's gone and we made it and we're still smoke-free, smellin good & on our way to living a healthier, happier and longer life :) Congrats to us for making it through another rough spot and being here to talk about it today! No matter what don't lite up... Keep on keepin on... Cherie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/22/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 410 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,201 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1640 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 39 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34

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$26,754.00

Amount Saved
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Days: 585 Hours: 10

Minutes: 27 Seconds: 54

Life Gained
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4459

Smoke Free Days
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89,180

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 715

Hi Pam, I know,,,we all know how bad it sucks sometimes :( Sry to hear you're having a tough time these past few days. Guess what,,,me too! I almost posted a few min's ago for help. Just been having subtle and not so subtle wants of instant gratification. Pam it's not always about what u want when u want it. Sometimes u really need tough love when you really really would rather not have it. It's an addict characteristic to want what we want and want it NOW! "Instant gratification". Ever been at the store and seen a little kid (emotionally imature), throwing a temper tantrum because they want something and their parent told them NO! Well...??? Think about it, lol :) :) :) You & I will make it through this patch of this tough time & WE WILL BE HAPPY WE DID! Like we always are. And we will grow up a little bit more emotionally because...well...that's just what happens each time we deal with our emotions without running away for an escape with a poisen filled lung suffocating stinky killing ciggarette! We'll make it and be happy we did. Sorry Pam...tough love,,,u can't have a ciggarette. You've just come to far to turn back now. You don't have permission to smoke so get over it & OMG so will I :O It's gr8 you swim. U look like you're not having any type of weight problem from your picture. I'm just getting fatter and fatter and that's what the junkie in me was trying to justify smoking with just a few min's ago before I read your post. I want u to know that my reply to your post is the new me talking myself out of giving up too :) We can do this...together :) Don't forget to say a prayer and ask for help. No matter what don't lite up... Keep on keepin on... Cherie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/22/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 408 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,178 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1632 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 39 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

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$26,754.00

Amount Saved
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Days: 585 Hours: 10

Minutes: 27 Seconds: 54

Life Gained
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4459

Smoke Free Days
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89,180

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 832

So many good caring people coming to your rescue; how can you fail. I was reading one of your posts to another member " NOPE. tatoo that on your hand or something. Time to listen to your own words little girl you know you can do this quit standing on your head all it takes is the will to do so. Give it hell and we will see you in the 6-12 Club very soon. Duffis :p

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$283,837.50

Amount Saved
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Days: 6812 Hours: 3

Minutes: 33 Seconds: 6

Life Gained
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45414

Smoke Free Days
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1,135,350

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 208

Butterfly: I so understand....I think it was at about 150 days that I was going thru exactly the same thing....The only thing that kept me from smoking was knowing right from wrong...I wanted a cig so bad I could taste it....but I had learned enough to know that was the wrong thing to do...Try and think about all the good things about not smoking.....They far out weigh the good things of smoking...(THERE IS NO GOOD THINGS ABOUT SMOKING) Hang in there Butterfly....I can't even describe the feeling of reaching one year.... You have what it takes to be a FOREVER QUITTER...We have all seen you in action on the site....and remember..."that junkie inside all of us, appears from time to time. Fight him.... From One Junkie to Another....Stay Strong, We love ya! We want you to win this battle.... Brenna [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/2/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 428 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,574 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1926 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 50 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59

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$32,090.50

Amount Saved
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Days: 637 Hours: 1

Minutes: 45 Seconds: 54

Life Gained
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4937

Smoke Free Days
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64,181

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1073

congratulations BFS! 160 days is awesome...and it's soon to be 161!! you're making it through a really tough time right now. you should be proud of the fight you're putting up!! I'm glad you're doing a little better, because my post was going to say.... [color=Blue] remember remember how hard the first week was? each time? remember how miserable you felt when you smoked? each time? don't forget I believe in you BFS! Now start believing in yourself, too, okay? [/color] ....but you don't need me to say that....'cause you didn't smoke! and you're not going to! :) [color=Purple]~bugg huggs~[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/17/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 385 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 20,451 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2541 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 37 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 45

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$52,410.00

Amount Saved
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Days: 917 Hours: 10

Minutes: 51 Seconds: 38

Life Gained
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6988

Smoke Free Days
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174,700

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2462

Pam, I'm glad you're feeling better and I'm sorry if I was too rough with my words. I do get very concerned for you. But you and Cherie have fought so hard for your quits and you are both so inspiring to so many! So hang in there, kiddos! Rusty :)

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$54,808.00

Amount Saved
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Days: 647 Hours: 5

Minutes: 34 Seconds: 28

Life Gained
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5270

Smoke Free Days
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210,800

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2462

One more thing, Pam. I know you asked for no tough love. Please consider it as words of advice from someone older and more experienced. Please take what you need and leave the rest. Rusty

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$54,808.00

Amount Saved
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Days: 647 Hours: 5

Minutes: 34 Seconds: 28

Life Gained
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5270

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

210,800

Cigarettes Not Smoked

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please, no tough love right now!!!