Ok,,,I'm breathing! It's 2:17am and I've been going through some confusing emotions the past couple days, topped with financial fear due to just starting my business. But I think this craving I'm having is more from the emotional state I've been in. It must be the confusion part b/c when I understand my feelings then I feel more in control and that's just not happening right now. Or maybe I'm not confused and really seeing it so clearly and that's why I'm dealing with it by taking strong action. I know I'm not making any sense but I know what I'm saying, lol. I can't go into detail without embarrassing myself. The point is I got involved in something that I new better than to do and then I got out of it. And my actions were very direct in getting away from something that's not good for me. And then in doing so (which was a good thing) it left me feeling a little confused. Anyhow, then on top of that I've been putting on weight and I'm broke and then tonight told my pool team that I'm not going to play next session but the way it went down wasn't good. Then I came home and ate chips and ice cream and after the ice cream I had some kind of an anxiety attack and really strong craving for a cig. I'm calmer now that I've been sitting here typing the last 10 min's,,,sighhhhhhh. Just felt like a cig would taste super good a few min's ago. I don't now though. I guess when things get really bad and I'm not feeling hopeful & basically I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm no further ahead than when I quit drinking in 1996. I mean here I am broke again and making the same mistakes I did in the 80's! When everything seems hopeless & like all the work I've done is for nothing then a cig won't hurt anything. I'm hangin in there though!
No matter what don't lite up...
Keep on keepin on...
Cherie
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Quit Meter
$29,028.00
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 642
Hours: 1
Minutes: 6
Seconds: 53
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
4838
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
96,760
Cigarettes Not Smoked