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9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

This does not make sense to make and I am hoping someone can make sense out of it. So for over a month I have not spoken to my wife. But she has been speaking to my mom at least once a week. I do not know what they are talking about but I do know it is not bad. Just last Saturday, my wife called my mom, my mom stepped out, and at the same time I was about to head out to my counselor. When I was about to step out, my mom came home and brought my son. My wife knew about that. I was shocked and I was almost in tears. I spent half an hour with him before I had to go. After that, my wife and mom still talk. However, just yesterday, my work recieved a letter from her laywer, asking for my employment information as my wife is still seeking legal aid for financial support. I have been speaking to all that I know that I am willing to support her financially but she is not giving me any requests for that. I do not know why she is still wanting to take me to court for this. During this whole time, I had thought that there is hope and everything will work out but now she is continuing to play hard ball. I do not want to fight back but if I have to, I have to.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Hi Ashley. Thank you for the reply. You may call me Amit as Amit is my name.
Yes I miss them very much and I cannot live without them.
Counselling is going okay. I have been going to a drop in center
from December 26 up until now. For 2 weeks now, I have been going
to a counsellor through work. I wish I felt more at ease by
going to counselling but sometimes I feel the same; alone, sad
and empty. What I am doing to cope with difficult times is watch
my favorite shows, hang out with friends. Sometimes, I will go and do
something stupid by trying to find a companionship because that is what
I am missing. I do not want a replacement. Sometimes I have hope but sometimes I still cry. Thank you for your comment. I am going through pain everyday.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi AKS,

I am so sorry to read all you are going through. It is clear you miss your wife and child very much. All of these feelings are normal and even healthy. How are your counselling sessions going? How are you trying to sooth yourself during this difficult time?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

I wish I had more control but time will only tell. I thought I can control my own emotions by getting help. But as time goes by, I still cry every night thinking why did this happen? Why can I not be with my own wife and child? I cry because I miss them. I cry because I need them and I wish that she can see that. I feel trapped and paralyzed.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

It is now 1 year since her parents came. I sometimes regret the moments that occured during this time. Had our living conditions been different, perhaps, we would still be together. But the past is the past and I cannot change it. I wish I can stop thinking about it and start hoping. Now time will tell when they go back or when my wife actually starts caring. In the mean time, I have been seeking our counselling through life works and I am in the middle of seeking Anger Management. Time will only tell when and if this depression will go away.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Although I know I got lot of work to do, I am just afraid of making that change since I have been through this before. I also do not know if or wheather or not I can forgive her or myself.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

And I do not want to make a big life decision and end my marriage. The time line doesnt add up for me to do that. I do not want to give up. I want to be back with my family. But if she chooses to be with her parents over me, that is not fair. I do want to get better.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Hi there Ashley. Thank you for your reply. I have and still am going through difficult times. Each night I cry because I miss them. I cry because I am in pain. I only look at the negative side to this and nothing positive. I am coping in a bad way at the moment and I do know from my own prespective is that this coping was not in a bad way for me before. I have gone to see a counsellor through LifeWorks last week Saturday and going back again this Saturday. They are going to set me up with an Anger Management course. Also, advising that I should get anti-depresant medication. And to the other person, yes, the living environment was horrible. But in her case, it was alright for her. As soon as her parents arrived, her focus turned more into her parents than me. Of course, she still had focus for our son, but I was pretty much left out of the picture until I did something bad. I regret punching the hole in the wall and I do regret what I did. I just wish I handled it differently. I only wish that our living environment was different or that my wife had equal attention. Last night I cried just before asleep and I woke up late and arrived late for work. I am not usually late as I am mostly on time. I wish my sadness can go away.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi AKS,

It sounds like you have been through some difficult times. good for you for coming here to look for support. Have you had a chance to get started on the program yet? I suggest not making any big life decisions like ending a marriage until you feel mentally well. Focus on your health now.

How are you feeling today?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 65

The cramped living quarters would put a strain on any relationship. If you still care for your family, I don't know why anyone would want you to give up. As a legal parent you have some rights to spend some time with your child. Even if it has to be supervised visits, your child could benefit from knowing you still care.

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Introducing myself